Never Knew I Needed
by 2izBetterThan1
Summary: Edward and Bella hate each other. They go through hell an back, and learn to love one another. Sooo, yea, we've been on hiatus for over a year now, but we're back to finish this baby. AH/OOC. Canon Pairings. Full summary inside.
1. It's Not What it Looks Like!

**Never Knew I Needed**

_**Chapter 1: It's Not What it Looks Like!**_

**A/N: Helloo peoples! How's it hangin? So yea, we've been gone for a year, but we never gave up on this story. This is our baby. We've experienced a lot of issues throughout this past year, but its all good now. We do want to finish this story. I mean, the fun hasn't even begun! So for all of you who want to hang with us, and to the newcomers who want to give this story a chance, we will try not to dissapoint you. We have made some revisions to the story, so if you started it before, we advise you to start over. Because we actually read that mess, and it was all bad! Come on, you can be honest! We can't promise its perfect, but we tried. So anywhos, enjoy!**

**Summary: Bella Swan is a paralegal to Edward Cullen. They hate each other. To her he is a pompous ass. To him she is a straight up bitch. She is living a comfortable life with her boyfriend of 2 years, Jacob Black. What happens when she comes home from work early one day to find her whole world crashing down? Who's there to comfort her through that hard time in her life? This is a story of love lost, finding love where you never expected it to be, and loving someone you never knew you needed.**

Character's Ages/ Occupations/B-days:

Bella: 25- Paralegal, May 6 turns 26

Edward: 27- Lawyer, June 20 turns 28

Alice: 24- Architect, Dec, 13 turns 25

Jasper: 27- History Teacher, Nov 16 turns 28

Emmett: 30- Lawyer, Dec 13 turns 31

Rose: 28- Mechanic shop owner, May 1 turns 29

Jacob: 25- Mechanic for Rose

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BPOV

"Shit, I'm tired." I said to myself as I walked into my building pass the front desk to the elevators.

It was a long, hectic, stressful day as usual at Cullen Corp, even though I got off two hours early, thank goodness.

My boss, Mr. Edward fucking Cullen, (or jerkward, assward, dickward, has-a-giant-stick-up-his-ass-ward, you pick one) made me do all of his got damn work before I got to leave. Not that I minded, I love law, and its not like I had any work on my own to do besides go over files, while he was at lunch with one of his play toys. This week it was the new temp covering for my friend Angela.

_What was her name…Fanya, Kanya, Sonya? Umm…wait for it, wait for it…Oh yeah, Tanya_! Or Fuckya as she is known around here.

Nobody really gives a shit 'cause he's Edward Cullen, the boss' most talented lawyer, aka his daddy. That ass has been all over town. Everyone's had a piece of that, even the married ones, with some exceptions including me. I wouldn't go near that if someone paid me a mil. But, oh… what a fine ass that is…

_Fuck!_

What the fuck Bella? Stop thinking about your sexy ass jerk of boss who annoys the shit out of you. You have a boyfriend, remember? A sweet, caring, understanding, hot man waiting for you at home.

_But not as hot as Edward._

_UGH! _Shut up you!What am I talking to myself now?

Not today. No, today you're gonna go home to your loving boyfriend of two blissful years. Just thinking about him brings a smile to my face…

Jacob and I met in our sophomore year of college at NYU. We were friends for two years then started to date after graduation. We have been inseparable ever since. I was comfortable. He just moved in with me 6 months ago.

I was waiting for the elevator to come so I could go to up to our 3-bedroom 2 bath penthouse on the fourth floor. Yea, _I _was well off like that. Even though assward was a jerk, he paid me pretty well for doing his fucking work for him when he was "occupied" (cause he knew I was the best there, under him, but would never say so, he's a dick like that).

When the elevator arrived, I got in and went to the fourth floor. Then I opened the door and walked in.

Boom!… Boom!…Boom!

What the hell? Then I heard it again, it sounded like it was coming from our bedroom.

"Jake?" I whispered as I tiptoed inside leaving the front door open (in case I had to make a run for it) and walked closer to the sound.

Why? Cause I'm a dumbass. Most people would run away and call the black suits. But nooooo, _me_, I walk towards the noise that could be a murder-bugler here to rob and kill me. Then I heard it again, and picked up the closet thing around me.

_A remote? Really Bella? _

Shut the hell up! There I go arguing with myself again, I'm doing that a lot lately, I need help.

Boom!

Oh shit, oh shit , oh shit. I going die. I'm too young to die. I wanted to have a get married and have a family before I'm 30. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to tell Edward off, tell him that he could fuck himself. I wanted to tell him that he was hot and I didn't really hate him!

Did I just think that?

_Yes, you did_.

Shut the fuck up!

As I got to the bedroom door holding the remote like a bat, as if it was the most dangerous weapon ever, I started to hear grunts and moans from more than two people. I put my ear to the door, it sounded as if the burglar was having a three-some in my gotdamn bed.

_Why did that Britney Spears song "3" just pop in my head._

Then I heard the male voice. I knew that voice, I wouldn't mistake it anywhere.

WTF!

I pushed the bedroom door open…

What I saw made me wish I were blind. There _he _was, my loving boyfriend in _my bed _with two, not one, but two hoes. One blonde and the other was my supposed to be my friend, Jessica Stanley.

The first emotions that washed over me were hurt and shock. Now I know how the women in the movies felt.

You know the movies where the woman catches her cheating boyfriend in the act, she just continues to stands there, and you yell at the screen and tell her to do something. She does 1 of 5 things:

1.) She stands there and cries.

2.) She stands there cries then runs.

3.) She stands there crying and screaming without doing anything.

4.) She starts going crazy.

5.) She does 1 and 4 at the same time.

Guess which one I did?

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" I yelled at the top of my lungs tears steaming down my face. I was hurt and mad. I was about to go ballistic.

Jake jumped so high he rolled over one bitch then hit his head on the nightstand and fell to the floor flat on his back. He shot straight up and gave me the "shocked-caught" look.

"B-Bell… I-I-I… uh…. T-they… ummm… IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" He said.

I just started cracking up while tears rolled down my face like a crazy person. This just like a fucking movie.

Then I heard movement and moved my eyes from Jacob, towards the two whores. Jessica was trying to get her clothes and the other I didn't know was trying to get off the bed.

I stopped laughing and then my anger came full force. "Wait! Where do you think you're going?" I asked the two whores while I walked towards them slowly.

I must've looked like a psycho, I was still crying but I was also smirking at them. Then I grabbed them by their hair, dragged them as they were screaming, and threw them out the door.

"Bella, please let me explain-" Jessica pleaded. The other tramp just looked terrified.

"I'll deal with you later." I growled back at them then slammed the door in their faces and locked it. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I made my way to the closet.

"Bella. Uh… I'm so sorry you weren't supposed to be home yet." Jacob said.

_Oh! Really?_

I just kept walking to the closet.

"Bella baby, we were just having fun. I-I-It's not what it looks like." He said again as if it would change the way I saw this whole fucked up situation.

_It's not what it looks like? Nice save retard._

I got to the closet and started looking for it…ah ha! My trusty steel bat. The one my dad got me for my 18th birthday for situations like this. I turned back to Jacob, who looked horrified still sitting on the floor now with a sheet over him. I began to walk across the room towards him swinging the bat around with angry tears and the same psycho smirk.

"So, it wasn't what it looked like, huh?" I smirked.

"Bella I-" He began to get up while holding his hands in front of himself for defense.

"You what? Tripped, your dick magically fell in her, and all your clothes just disappeared?" I sneered still walking towards him swinging the bat, him backing up, hands still in the air.

"No, well she-"

"She what, spilled soda on her shirt, the other slut, then on yours, so you all decided to get naked and fuck?" I growled, still surprisingly calm. He was at wall by now and I had him cornered.

"Baby, p-please, p-put the bat down. Let's just talk-" He stuttered.

That threw me over the edge.

"Baby! Talk! Oh, Jake we're way past that shit." I chuckled darkly and prepared to swing.

"Bella!" He screamed like a little bitch as I swung the bat to his stomach.

45 minutes later, all his clothes were in the hallway, most of his and my shit broken, and his ass beat. I'm serious, I Chris-Browned him. Right now, he was banging on the door and begging me to let him in. All I know is he better leave. Soon.

My main emotion was anger at this point. I was still waiting for the others, but they never came. For that I was grateful cause I didn't really want to breakdown while he was still on the other side of the door There was broken furniture everywhere and clothes scattered all over the place. I bet I looked like Frankenstein's wife at that point but I was in no mood to give a shit. I was still so pissed, pacing in front of my front door. All I could contemplate was how he could do this to me? To us? How could he ruin our whole future in _my_ house, _my bed,_ if he ever really loved me? Everyone was right, he wasn't any good for me.

Alice and Rosalie, my two best friends, always said that Jacob wasn't boyfriend material and would end up hurting me. But of course when you're young and in love, you're blind. You never want to see a person flaws, you always look past them. The roaming eyes, not coming home when he said he would…it all made since now. I should of listened to them.

Then there was my older brother Jasper. The one person I could always count on and trust. Our relationship has been strained over the last couple of months due to his accusations towards Jacob. He told me he saw Jacob coming out of a club one night with some black haired chick, kissed her, then got a cab. He tried to follow the cab, but this is New York, there are cabs everywhere and they all look the same, so he lost him. When he confronted Jacob in front of me, I defended Jacob. Jasper never liked Jacob just as everyone else, so I just thought it was his prejudice.

I had never seen Jasper look so pissed in my whole life, it was scary. He would have beaten the shit out Jacob if I hadn't gotten in between. The look he gave me was so hurt I cried myself to sleep that night. I still remember the last words he said to me before he left, "You'll be sorry". I haven't seen or talked to him since. The only reason I still know he's alive is because Alice, his fiance, gives me regular updates. I miss my brother. Blood is always thicker than water.

As I was thinking about all my newly found revelations I heard Jacob talking to somebody. By the deepness of the voice I guessed it was a male.

I jumped at a bang on the door. It must be Jacob trying to get in. I went to open the door to tell him to get lost before I go for round two with my bat, but I was taken back by the sight of the last person I expected to see.

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**AN: How was it? We wanna know! So go on, press that little button at the bottom and tell us how you feel homies! Welp, thats all for now. Adios!**


	2. The Main Reason Why

**_Chapter 2: The Main Reason Why_**

_**Disclaimer: Don't own blah, blah, blah...**_

_**A/N: Hey there peeps there's been some changes I suggest you reread if you already have read the other junk that used to be here. G1 basically said it all in the first chap soooo,  
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_**okay, enjoy... ~G2  
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EPOV

I zipped my pants up, looked at my phone. I had 2 missed texts from Emmett. He was probably wondering why I wasn't at the office yet. I looked at whatever her name was to make sure she was still asleep. I didn't want her to wake up, trying to avoid the drama. It was so much easier for me to leave now that she was sleeping. She was a good fuck, but she wasn't great. I was ready to move on to the next. I don't know how her ass became a temp, she was dumb as a fucking doorknob.

I don't do the whole "fuck her more than once" thing. I like to hit it and quit it. Some girls are easier than others. Some understand and just want to fuck. Then there are the clingy bitches that want a relationship with me, most are gold diggers.

Edward Cullen doesn't do relationships. Too much drama. Too much work. I could tell by the way she was acting that she was clingy. I slipped my shoes on and got off the bed. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw her stir.

_Fuck! I didn't want to deal with this shit!_

"Eddie, where are you going?" She asked.

Ugh! I despise that name, but for some damn reason all the whores call me it. I ran my hands through my hair. Hmm…Which approach should I take? Lie and be nice or be an ass?

Ass it is. "I'm leaving. Bye." I told her as I headed for the door.

"But why? Don't you want to stay with me a little longer?" She stood up, buck-naked, grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back to the bed.. Huh, usually they cover themselves with a sheet afterwards. Damn, I guess I got to give it to her straight.

"Look… umm Sonya-" I started to say after I pulled her away from me.

"Tanya. It's Tanya." She interrupted.

_What the fuck ever._

"Sorry, _Tanya, _you were good and everything but that was just a one time thing. I don't fuck a girl more than once. So good luck with everything, I have to go back to the office. Don't worry, the hotel is paid for another hour, so enjoy yourself." I told her then walked out the door, leaving her stunned.

Damn, that went better than I thought it would. I thought she was going to put up some kind of fight like most of them do. Glad she didn't, made my life easier. Sometimes its hard being me. All the women want me, but who could blame them? I'm Edward fucking Cullen. One of the most good-looking guys in the state. A successful lawyer at the biggest law firm in New York, and I'm the best there.

I wasn't conceded, _much_, but I ain't a bad lay either, or so I've been told. But, enough about me, for now. I was almost at the elevator then I heard someone call me. I turned around and…

_What the fuck? Guess I was wrong about her._

She was standing there, still naked, in nothing but a sheet. For a second my dick got the best of me 'cause I was seriously thinking about taking her back in that room for round three, until she spoke.

"Eddie, you can't leave me like that. I thought you liked me. I thought we had something special." She whined and attempted to pout. I'm sure it was supposed to be cute, but she just looked pathetic.

Then I noticed something. Was it me or was her voice the most annoying thing I've ever heard? All nasally and high-pitched, like scraping a chalkboard with a nail. It was all bad.

"Nooooo." I said shaking my head slowly "Listen… I. Don't. Like. You. Okay? I met you the other day then brought you here to fuck you and that's it. We," I waved my hands from me to her, "don't have anything together. Do you get it now?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow. It seemed as if I had to make it slow and clear for this one.

She laughed once and looked down. When her eyes returned to mine it was as if she was a completely different person. "No, no, no. You are mine." She smiled a little. but it was off. It gave me the chills. "Have a nice day at work. I'll see you soon." The way she said it made me wish she wasn't right. She's a temp. Fuck Angela being gone.

She shook her head, waved and went inside. Oh fuck. I picked a fucking psycho. That's a new one.

Okay. Psycho bitch.

I arrived back at work then walked to my brother Emmett's office. His was right next to mine.

"What up bro? How did it go with the new temp?" He asked me when I walked inside.

Emmett's my older brother. He has brown eyes versus my green. And brown hair versus my bronze. On top of that he was about 5 times bigger than me. Don't get me wrong I'm, not small but, he looks like a fucking body builder. The girls couldn't stay away from him either. But I look better than him.

"Aw man. That bitch is a psycho." I told him after I sat down in a chair. He laughed a loud booming laugh.

"Damn bro, what she do?" he asked eagerly. I told him what happened and he laughed harder.

"S-She came out in a sheet?" he started cracking up even harder. "That's some funny shit dude."

"If only you were there. The way her eyes looked… it was creepy… like she was a different person." I said seriously, that shit creeped me out.

"No shit. Wow, my little Eddie finally got a psycho." He said after he caught his breath.

_I hate that fucking name!_

"Emmett, if you ever fucking call me Eddie again, I'll fucking kill you." I threatened. He may be much bigger than me but I can take him. I'm no one's bitch.

"Yeah, sure you will….So, what are you going to do?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. What do you do in these situations?" I asked him. He has told me many stories about the psychos he has had. Guess it runs in the family.

"It depends on how psychotic she is. Do you remember Lauren ?" He asked.

Hmm… Lauren…Lauren…Sounds familiar…

"That bitch we met at the club some months ago?" I asked.

"Yep." He said popping the p.

Now I remember. We met her at a club we went to a few months ago. I already had some hoes with me at the time so I had my hands full. But Em liked her. Well more like he wanted to fuck her. Unlike me, he likes to hit it more than once. They became fuck buddies it lasted about a month. He ended it with her after she became a bore.

But some bitches don't take "get the hell out" for an answer.

She stalked him and threatened to hurt any girl that came near him. For a while no girl would touch him. Let me tell ya, he was one pissed off motherfucker for about three weeks. Sexual frustration ain't nothing to play with. Not that I would know.

The bitch busted the windows out of his fucking brand new car. I remember when he came into my office and told me about her.

….

"_E, man. Lauren has lost it." Emmett said as he burst through my office looking pissed._

"_What else is new?" I said, Bella snickered and walked out._

"_No! She has completely lost it this time. I went home for my lunch break. Lauren was there by the steps. She wanted to come inside and talk. I called her a psychotic bitch and told her to leave me the fuck alone. Then she said 'I can't, we're meant to be, this is until death do us part whether you like it or not and I will get what's mine.' Then she left. When I went inside my place I heard my car alarm go off. So, I ran outside and saw…" he stopped. As I looked at him I noticed he was shaking. _

"_What? What did you see?" I asked him curiously._

"_SHE FUCKING BUSTED THE WINDOWS OUT OF MY BABY!" He yelled._

_Fuck! he just bought a brand new, black ,2010 Cadillac Escalade SUV. I laughed my fucking ass off._

"_IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY YOU DUMBASS! SHE FUCKED UP MY CAR!" He roared, which made me crack up even more._

"_Calm d-down. E-Everyone can hear you. W-What d-did you d-do then?" I asked him trying to catch my breath._

"_I called the cops on her fucking ass!" I laughed so hard I fell off of my chair._

….

We haven't heard from her since then. Word is she fled to Canada when she heard the police was after her.

"Oh fuck! You think she's gonna be like that?" I asked horrified. I fucking loved my car.

"I don't know. I'm just saying she might." He shrugged.

_Shit! _

"I'll see you later. I have to go to the office." I said trying to get out of his office before he decide to tell me any more psycho-ex stories.

"Bye, lil bro." He waved as I closed the door.

I was in my office looking through the documents Bella drew up for my new case when I heard a cell phone ringing. It wasn't my ring tone but I did recognize it.

It was Bella fucking Swan's. I would have fired her a long time ago but she's the best here, under me of course, at what she does, though I will never tell her that. I always wondered why she didn't become a lawyer, but she just says " I didn't want to, now mind your own business Cullen" just like the bitch she is.

Most of the time I leave her with most of my work. Like today, when I went to fuck Tanya. I did tell her she could leave as soon as she was done though.

Plus, my family loves her, especially my dad.

No, not in that way you pervs, like a daughter. The daughter he's never had. He treats her better than he treats Emmett and I put together. She even comes over to our house for Sunday dinner and helps my mom cook. Her, Jasper, and Alice. They were cool though.

Jasper had to be the realest, most calmest person I've ever met. How he and Bella are related I will never know. Then there's Alice, who has too much energy for one person to have.

Bella Swan aka "the biggest bitch in New York." We always get into it over anything. I enjoy pissing her off sometimes. I hate her ass with a passion.

_But what a nice round ass she has…_

Yeah, she's hot, but man does she have a mouth on her.

She's a short, petite, little thing around 5'3 or 5'4. Brunette with long, wavy, brown hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. She's cute, but when she opens her mouth it reminds me of why I hate her. I wouldn't touch her if she was the last woman on earth.

I think that's the reason why she hates me too. She knows I don't want her and she wants me. I know it, even though she has boyfriend. Every woman does.

Figures she would leave her phone here. Well, I guess I'll go over to her place and give it to her. That would make her day. I didn't really get a chance to piss her off today, too busy with Tanya. I retrieved her phone and left the office for the day. I walked to my beautiful ,brand new black Ferrari F430. I love this car.

When I arrived in front of her building I took the elevator to the fourth floor. Now if I can only remember which door was hers…

After I got off of the elevator I saw a man in a sheet banging on a door.

_What is with people and sheets today?_

"Bella, please open the door and let me explain." The pathetic man begged. I chuckled to myself, shaking my head.

_Wait, did he say Bella?_

I cleared my throat. He turned to look at me. Damn, what happened to him? He had a black eye, busted lip, bruises on his face and torso.

I looked him up and down. He looked ragged and unsanitary. "What's up, I'm Edward Cullen. I would shake your hand but, you know…" I smirked. He glared at me. Hmm… he wants to be an asshole… Okay, I'll play.

"Does Bella Swan live here?" I asked civilly. It was obvious she did, he had just confirmed it. Unless there was two Bella's on this floor, that had to be her apartment.

"None of your fucking business." He snapped. Ooo this is gonna be fun… I could tell I was pissing him off by not saying how I know Bella. I was having too much fun to care though. If you haven't noticed yet, I like to fuck with people.

"Okaay… So, does she live here or not?" I asked provokingly. "I really need to speak to her." I added to piss him off more. I saw him clenching his fist.

"Why? What do you want with her?" He sneered trying to size me up. Even though he was about an inch taller, I was much more muscular than him.

I sighed exaggeratedly. "That is between me and her, so if you'll excuse me I need to talk to her." I said then walked past him to knock on the door. He walked in front of it.

"She's not here. I'll tell her you came by." Is he serious? Everyone could hear him pleading to her and banging on the door.

_What an idiot!_

"Really? Hmm… Why did I hear you _begging _her to let you in, then?" I asked with a smirk.

"That's none of your fucking business!" He yelled at me.

Game over. Enough is enough. He can glare and sneer all he wants. But I'll be damned if I let this fucker yell at me. Time to put him in his place before I lose my temper and fuck him up some more.

"I don't know what the fuck this is all about." I got in his face and looked him straight in the eye. "But I know it has to do with Bella. I was trying to be nice because you look like you got into a fight with a bat and lost. But, if you don't let me by, I won't hesitate to give you another black eye." I threatened.

Hey that rhymes_. _

_No time for that now. Focus Edward. _

Oh, riiight…

"I'd like to see you fucking try." He challenged. I raised an eyebrow.

That's it. I pulled my fist back and punched him in the jaw. He stumbled back into the door and held his jaw, seething. Then the door opened and Bella came out, or at least it looked liked like her. She had her eyes on the idiot, she didn't see me yet.

"Jacob, I told you to get the fuck out of here!" She screamed at him. Damn! I've never seen her this pissed before.

_Wait. Did Bella do that to him? No… Did she?_

"No. Bella, I live here too. I'm not going anywhere. We are going to talk this through." He stated. She yelled at him and he tried to explain. This is one of the reasons why I don't do relationships. Too much drama. With him wrapped up in a sheet, my guess is that he cheated on her. I was getting sick of his ass.

"Just go. You make me sick. I can't stand to look at you right now." She said in a low but firm tone. Time to make myself known.

"Jacob, is it? Why don't you leave like Bella said. She obviously doesn't want you here." I said. Bella turned to look at me with widened eyes.

_Now you notice me._

"Why don't you fucking leave!" He shouted

"Please, just go Jake." She interrupted and pleaded in a weak voice. He glanced at her and deliberated for a minute. He seemed to back down, taking into account Bella looking so frail. He huffed.

"Fine! I'll be back, Bella. We will talk. I'm not going to let you throw everything away." He left, and she turned her eyes to me.

"Edward, w-what… I'm sorry-" She said biting her lip. She looked on the brink of tears. Fuck me.

"You don't have to say anything, Bella. It's okay I just came by to give you your phone, you left it in my office." I reached into my pocket and handed it to her.

She placed her hand on top of mine and stared at our hands, blankly. Then tears silently rushed down her cheeks as her lips trembled. She closed her eyes then started to fall to the floor. I wrapped my arms around her waist and caught her before she fell. She held onto me as she cried.

Oh, shit, I didn't know what to do.

All I knew was this, right here, is the main reason why I don't do relationships. They change people in negative ways. Don't get me wrong, I know there are positive changes too. For an example, singers and song writers make a fucking killing off of heartbreak. But, I don't think they're worth it though. There are too many negative changes, like people going crazy or isolating themselves from the world around them.

This wasn't the Bella I knew. I wanted her to yell at me. I wanted to see her devilish smirk. She was so vulnerable and weak at the moment. She looked heartbroken. Her eyes were extremely red and puffy. Her little body shook with violent sobs. I wasn't expecting this. I didn't like seeing her this way. She wasn't the bitch I knew. She was just a sad woman that was hurting.

I couldn't take seeing her that way anymore, so I picked Bella up bridal style and carried inside her place. It was a mess; her furniture was broken, clothes were everywhere. It was hard for me to walk by. I walked to a room, but it was a mess also, so I took her to another one. I tried to lay her down in the bed but she had a tight grip on me. Her blank eyes were staring at me. After a few minutes I freed myself from her. She turned over to face the other side of the bed.

_What am I supposed to do now? Call Esme? She would know what to do._

Her phone rang which made me realize it was still in my hand. I walked out and answered it.

"Hello?" I don't know why I answered it.

"Edward? Is that you? Why are you answering Bella's cell? Is she okay? Did something happen?" Alice started interrogating me.

"Alice, calm down. She isn't physically hurt, but I think you should come over. She's crying because something happened with that guy she's with."

"What? I'm on my way stay there!" She exclaimed. "I told her Jacob was a no-good-lying- son-of-a-" She muttered.

"I'll stay with her until you get here. Hurry up." I told her, she thanked me and hung up.

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**A/N: Review bitches! Jk, jp... Please leave your thoughts and whatever else you want to say... :) Peace!**


	3. Better Today or Tomorrow?

_Chapter 3: Better Today…or Tomorrow?_

**AN: wassup. so yea, read, enjoy****, and read AN at bottom for more:)**_  
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**Disclamier: I dont own shit. Fml-_-**_  
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BPOV

I woke up to the sun assaulting my eyes. They felt as if I'd been crying all night. I rolled over to Jake's side to wake him up and came up empty.

It all came rushing back.

Jacob cheating on me….

Us fighting….

Then… Edward_._

Edward had stayed. Edward knows everything.

Fuck. My. Life.

Before I got a chance to I really dwell on the resent mishaps of my life, I looked around the room to take in my surroundings. I was in one of my guest rooms.

I heard a high-pitched voice outside the door speaking in whispers. _Must be Alice_, I thought.

The door was slightly ajar, but I stopped with my hand on the doorknob when I heard who she was talking to.

Okay, I know it's not polite to eavesdrop, but who doesn't?

"Yeah Jazz, she's okay…" I can't believe it. Now I feel like _straight _shit.

He's worrying about me even after I took the jackass's side over his. I picked Jacob over him; someone I called my best friend, my brother.

It's not like it's out of the ordinary for Jasper to put the people he loves before him. It's in his nature. When our mom left our dad, Jasper was the one to stay behind and help Charlie. He never even blamed our mom for any of it. He told me, "Things change. People move on. It's inevitable." I, on the other hand, took a little more time to see that situation from his perspective. I blamed my mom for giving up on my dad, and I blamed my dad for not fighting harder for her. Jasper had always been a better person than me, and _I_ took _him _granted and he is _still_ by my side.

Again. Fuck my life.

"No, she's still asleep…" Alice murmured. There was a long pause.

"No! Don't do that-" She whispered forcefully. There was another pause.

"Jasper." She said in a soothing voice, yet assertive.

"Stop and think about what your thinking about doing. Just breathe and wait. We can talk about this later. But right now, it's about Bella. She needs me so I'm going to stay with her for the rest of the day and wait for you …Yeah, I already called my job and told them I was taking a sick day." There he goes worrying about everyone else but him again. As if I didn't already feel like a horrible person.

"Now, you need to stop worrying about everyone else and focus on you and your students." It's like she was reading my mind. Her and Rose do that sometimes.

"You only have a few more hours then you can come see her…Yea, he said she could take off as long as she needs. He was really sweet about it too; he had this look in his eyes…"

I didn't want to hear anymore so I decided to make my appearance known. When Alice saw me she told Jasper bye, ran over and grabbed me in a vice tight hug. I hugged her back just as tightly and started to sob on her tiny shoulder. I was like 4 inches taller than her and she couldn't really hold me so she carried me to the couch.

I don't know how long we sat there; me crying on her shoulder, her consoling me. But when I finally calmed down, she spoke.

"It'll get better." She said. I wanted to believe her, but with all the pain I was feeling right now, it sounded impossible.

"What time is it?" I whispered changing the subject. My voice hoarse from crying so much.

She looked at her watch. "Eleven. Want breakfast?" I shook my head no.

"I can't eat right now." She stared at my face for a minute to make sure I was telling the truth. It was pretty clear on my face when I was. I was like an open book. She seemed to believe me and nodded.

"Okay, well when you want to talk, I'm here."

I gave her a nod. I could tell it was killing her to know what happened, but she didn't want to push me. She could tell I was already standing on edge.

"I'll go take a shower then we can talk." I murmured and stood.

"Yeah, it'll be good for you. I'll…" She looked around the room.

There were broken shards of glass and porcelain on the floor. Table chairs thrown around the room and the rugs were all a skew. I was surprised my flat screen survived with all the holes punched in the wall from my bat.

"Umm, I'll just straighten up in here." She said causally, I heard something else in her voice, like she was up to something. I was pretty sure she was but I didn't have it in me to care.

I shrugged.

"Okay honey. Go take a shower. Cleanse your head and then we'll talk." She said softly. I just sighed; I really had no more energy in me to give a shit about anything. I was pretty sure that if I wasn't a slight clean-freak I wouldn't give a fuck about taking a shower either.

I got in the shower and began to think. Was it me? Was it him? Was it us? What did I do to make him lose interest? Why would someone who loves me hurt me?

All these questions just brought back memories. Some of my happiest memories with him. Where did we go wrong?

….

2 years earlier….

_I was in Jake's dorm watching the Super Bowl with him and the gang. The Giants and Redskins were 23 to 17. _

_Jacob, Alice, Jasper and I had our Washington Redskins jerseys on, reping the burgundy and gold. Kate, Garrett, Royce and Rosalie were all wearing New York Giant jersey's; royal blue, red and white. _

_My team had just made a touch down and now we were even. The game was all or nothing. There was 32 seconds on the clock, and we had them right where we wanted them. One yard to go and this was ours. The giant's quarterback threw it to the most open receiver on the right but was intercepted by one of our rookies! The Bowl was ours! _

_I jumped up and down, ecstatic that my team had won! Arms caught my waist and twirled me in the air. Jacob turned me to face him and crashed his lips to mine. He pulled back a little too quickly to rest his forehead on mine._

"_I love you." He said with a goofy smile._

_I was flabbergasted. It's not that I didn't love him back, because I did. Even though we've just began our relationship, he was my best friend. Well, guy friend. It's just, who says those special three words for the first time in a room full of people, right after a football game? _

_I guess I was just being snobby. This was perfect. It was so Jake._

_After my minor moment I came back to the present to see Jake looking a little uneasy. I realized I hadn't said it back yet. I shouldn't make him wait any longer, though the nervous look on his face was priceless._

"_I love you too." I whispered to him with a grin. He looked shocked for a second like he thought I wouldn't say it back, but then recovered and gave me one of the most intense kisses we've ever shared. _

_First, my team wins the Super Bowl. Then, the love of my life confesses his love to me._

_It was an amazing day _and_ night._

….

That was some day; one of my favorite days.

Rosalie was only on their team because she couldn't stand to be on the same one as Jacob. She didn't even like football. At that point we had just started dating, so Alice and Jasper had tolerated him for me. But as time went on everyone began to tolerate him less and less. I didn't know why, but now I get it.

We hadn't had moment like that in a really long time. I can't even remember the last time we just talked about our days to one another. We didn't even have arguments like normal couples anymore. In a way, we kind of ignored each other. In my mind, we were perfect. But in reality, it wasn't healthy. It was always 'hi', 'bye' or 'I won't be home till late.' I don't even remember the last time we said we loved each other.

But that doesn't count. Every relationship has its issues, that's what communication is for. If he wasn't satisfied or happy he should have talked to me. Cheating doesn't justify our lack of effort. I gave him all of me even when I wasn't there. I worked my ass off to make a good life for us so we would never have to worry about money, cause we all knew his salary wasn't cutting it. Who gave him the right to ruin it all?

And what hurts the most in so many ways, that makes every limb and organ in my body ache, was the fact that I was still madly in love with the bastard. He threw it all away as if it meant _nothing._

At some point of all of this I ended up on the bathtub floor curled up in a ball sobbing. Alice came in and helped me get out without a word. She helped me get into clean clothes and made me drink some juice and eat some fruit. After that she let me go back to bed without mentioning that we were supposed to talk. Man I love that girl. I slept in the guestroom, since mine's was the scene of the crime, and fell into a deep dreamless sleep for which I was grateful.

When I woke up I felt much better, but the ache in my heart was still there, and probably would always be.

I looked over at the clock on the wall, it was 6:30 am. I got up and went to the living room. I almost didn't recognize it. Most of my furniture, which had gotten either damaged or destroyed, was gone. Almost everything in my living room had been replaced.

There was only one person to blame for this.

_Alice. _

I knew she was up to something.

Damn, I freaking love her, she knew I didn't want any reminders and took it upon herself to make it happen. How awesome is that.

Her and Jasper were curled up on the new couch together. They looked so perfect together. So in love.

Ugh. Love. It reminded me of a poem I read in college called "_Love is Not All_." Moral of the poem: Fuck love.

I stopped my thoughts right there. They would either lead to breaking down again or being pissed at the world, which I was trying hard not to do.

Alice stirred in Jasper's arms and turned around, her back to him now. I took that as my cue to leave and went back to the guest room, avoiding the scene of the crime, Though I'm pretty sure she redid that room too. Alice doesn't do anything halfway.

When I got there I went to the balcony and starred at the dim, New York morning sky. I hadn't been out there at this time in so long that I had almost forgotten what it looked liked. I sat down on one of the three chairs that were out on the balcony and just thought.

"You know it's like 20 degrees below zero out here, right?" I jumped at Jasper's voice .

Jasper was sitting right beside me sans jacket and shoes. His hair was all over his head and he had bags under his eyes. I guess I was too deep in thought to notice him join me.

"You should go back to bed." I said sadly looking into his eyes.

"We need to talk." That's Jasper, straight to the point. I took a deep breath and stood, complying and walking back into the room. I knew this was coming.

Jasper followed me and sat next to me on the bed. I brought my legs to my chest and put my chin on my knees. He sat Indian style and faced me.

For a while we just sat and stared, taking in each others faces. It had been awhile since we had seen each other. This had been the longest time, but not the first for us to go this long without talking or seeing each other.

This was our thing. Stare each other down until one breaks. I was usually the first to break in the more serious situations such as this. I broke.

"Where's Alice?" I murmured, trying to stall, being a chicken.

"She left for work, she wanted to give us some privacy, she'll be back later."

"Oh." Was all I said. There was a long pause. After a whileI decided to stop being a coward and grow up.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and put my head down not wanting to cry. My voice cracked.

"Look at me." Jasper said. I ignored him.

He put his hands on both sides of my face and made me look at him. I kept my eyes closed.

"B, open your eyes, before I do it." He said softly.

"That's what she said." I murmured. Looks like my humor didn't die with my heart. He snorted.

"Leave those jokes to Emmett, you suck at 'em." he murmured.

"Stop." He said when I opened my mouth to say it again, I grinned.

What the hell. I opened my eyes. "See, wasn't so hard was it." He said in a mock babyish tone, then he turned back serious.

"I'm sorry." He said and let go off my face to grab my hands which were shaking.

I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. "I should have been there for you." There was so much sadness in his voice, the tears I was trying to hold back fell down my cheeks.

"No -"

"Let me finish big mouth." He grinned. "And yes, I should have been there for you through it all. I knew you would never listen to me, but I never should have given up. It's just…it hurt me so much to see you in that position. A position you didn't even realize you were in, and probably still don't. It all began when you started to date him after college… Bella, you changed so much for him. You didn't go out anymore, and the only time I ever saw you truly smile was when he wasn't around. And it killedme, _killed _me, to let you go through that. It killed everybody. They knew who you were before him. Who you still are inside. The whole family saw the change. It pained us to see you so blind. We love you to death." He shook his head and sighed. "I knew there was nothing I could do cause I had to let you make your own decisions, your own mistakes. We all knew. I realized you weren't just my baby sister anymore. You were a woman who needed to learn on her own. And even though he's a scum bag and I was right about him, I shouldn't have interfered in your life the way I did. It's your life. You were just another stupid person in love."

I hit him in his arm and chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. He stayed serious.

"But, I'm not sorry for trying to protect you. I will never be sorry for that. You are, and always will be, my baby sis. And old habits die hard." He grinned at me.

I was stumped. I mean it was totally Jasper to say what was on his mind, but it looks like he had been holding that in for a while. I couldn't believe it was like that for everyone. I did isolate my self from my family for Jacob. I hurt the people I claimed I loved for some two timing ass. I'm more than hurt, I'm ashamed.

"Damn." I said dwelling on something else he'd told me. How I had changed. " I really changed that much?" Jasper nodded slowly.

"You used to wear your hair to you shoulders, then you grew it out cause_ Jacob_ said he liked it that way." His voice rose, so I could tell what he was about to say is what pissed him off the most. "Bella, you've _always _wanted to be a lawyer! But you became a fucking paralegal cause the douche bag said it was for you!"

He was heated, and I was shocked. I sat there taking all of this in.

As I looked back at my relationship with Jacob, it wasn't as healthy as I thought it was. I had kind of figured this out yesterday. But when you put it like Jasper just did, it just looked sick.

When I absorbed it all and Jasper calmed down, I looked him straight in his eyes. "You're right." I whispered.

"I didn't want to be, I never wanted that to happen to you." He said

"Oh. My. Goodness. You're right. I did change who I was for him. I just always thought you have to change to grow in a relationship, but I guess I over did it, huh?" I asked emotionless. Jasper pulled me into a hug.

"Yeah, you kind of did."

"I'm so sorr-," he cut me off.

"Bella,-"

"No, let me finish, just as you asked, please give me that same respect." He nodded. I grabbed his face in my hands, fresh tears rolling down my face. "I'm sorry I pushed you away and didn't trust your judgment. I'm sorry I let one little relationship run my life and distanced myself from you and our family…and, I'm sorry I lost myself." My voice cracked.

"But I'm going to get though this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I may be a massive mess right now, and it might not look so likely," he chuckled. " but I will get though this. And I may not be the same Bella on the outside for a while, but she's always here." I put my hand on his heart. " Okay?"

He pulled me into a hug again. It was kind of weird cause neither Jasper nor me were very affectionate people, a trait we inherited form Charlie. But it was full of love so I let it pass.

"As long as I get my sister back, I'm straight."

"She never left." I muttered and hugged him tighter.

"So, how are those little motherfuckers you call students?" Jasper grinned.

"And the Bella-nator is back."

The rest of the day we just kicked back and hung out like we used to. Eating junk food, watching re-runs of South Park, **(Cartman is hilarious)** and cracking jokes.

There was no sadness and no tears. I promised myself I wouldn't shed another tear over Jacob Black. I needed to get away,' get myself together. When I look back on what I was like before Jacob and I became more than friends it saddens me. Being a lawyer had been all I wanted to be. It was my dream job since before I could remember.

When I told Alice and Jasper my plans they were reluctant at first because I wanted to go alone. But I told them this is what I needed and they agreed. I didn't tell them where I was going, but I would later. After I packed, I bought my airplane ticket online and arranged for the earliest flight so I could get out of New York as soon as possible.

I was in luck. There was one at 7:45 pm, and it was now 4. I hopped in the shower, washed up and got dressed in the old jeans and a T-shirt. When I was ready I left my room to say bye to Alice and Jasper. hey were both at the table talking. I cleared my throat to get their attention.

"Aw Bells, you're ready to go already?" Jasper whined playfully, but I could hear the sadness he was trying to mask. We hadn't spent much time together, but I promised him when I got back our relationship would be the most important thing to me. We had a lot to catch up on.

"One day is simply not enough. I know." I smiled at him. He looked down.

Alice came over to hug me while Jasper stood behind her. "Don't worry guys, I'll only be gone 'til Sunday. It's Thursday." I said teasingly.

"Are you sure you don't want us to come with you? I don't even know where you're going." He murmured.

"Stop worrying so much you big worrywart. You're going to give yourself a ulcer." Alice said, smiling lovingly at him.

"Don't trip. I'll call you when I get there _mom_." I laughed lightly at his grimace. He hated it when I referred to him as one of our parents. It made him feel old. He preferred to be thought of as the cool big brother. "And if you don't hear from me by tomorrow…the plane blew up."

"I see you're just as smartasstic as you always were." He said pulling me into a hug.

"Told you I never left." I whispered against his chest. "Did you just make that word up?"

"Yep." He said with a smile in his voice.

He pulled back and held the top of my shoulders at arms length with a concerned look. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I looked him dead in his eyes. "No." I said truthfully. "But I'm getting there."

He grinned and nodded, pulling me into another hug. I waved Alice over for a group hug and we stayed like that for few more seconds. I pulled away and they keep their arms around each other.

"Well, I better go, don't want to miss my flight." I headed toward the door. Jasper grabbed my bag.

"You want us to drive you to JFK?" Alice asked.

"No, no, you guys have already done too much. I'm just going to take a cab." Then it occurred to me.

"Umm, but can you do me one more favor?" I asked sheepishly. They looked at me curiously. "Could you change the locks for me? I don't want _him_ getting in."

"Already done." Alice said.

"When?" I looked down at the doorknob. It didn't look any different, and my key worked when I locked it.

"Yesterday, while you were asleep. I also put the new key on your key chain. That's why it works, in case you're wondering."

Damn I love these people. "Thanks F.A.M.I.L.Y." I hugged them again, getting teary eyed.

"Forget About Me, I Love You." We said in unison. I tried so hard not to cry, but my fucking tears have a mind of their own.

They walked me out to a cab and I waved them goodbye until they were out of sight.

When I got to the airport I had to run to make my flight. When got to my first class seat, the flight attendant gave me a blanket, a pillow and asked me if I needed anything else. I shook my head no.

I turned to stare out the window, turned on my iPod Touch, and put my earphones in.

"Better Today" by Ne-Yo came on.

_Whoa oh, whoa oh, whoa oh, whoa oh, see it all in my hear it all in my way I walk, you hear me know I'm no longer sad.I got no reason to smile more now than I've ever had.I open up my eyes and realize that nothing's quite that bad.I've got a different approach to dealing with control of my boat, while drifting on this my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my happiness be the reason that I decide to cry._

_And life's too short to dwell on all that's up now, stand up now and I promise not before 'll be feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better better 're feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better 'll be so much better.I know about down and out.I know about when it gets my fight, can't see the you just wanna give up.I know about being needing someone to love.I also know by standing up and saying enough is , I've got a different approach to dealing with control of my boat, while drifting on this my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my happiness be the reason I decide to cry._

_And life's too short to dwell on all that's up now, stand up now and I promise not before 'll be feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better better 're feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better 'll be so much better.(Ohh whoa. Oh whoa, whoa)(Oooh)I feel like if I try, I could fly away right because I've finally found my you'll be feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better better 're feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better today._

_And you'll be feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better better 're feeling better better today, much better much 're feeling better better today, much better todayYou'll be so much better._

"The perfect song." I mumbled to myself and settled in for my three hour flight to Seattle.

* * *

**A/N: So if some of you didn't get the whole FAMILY thing, it was a word for each letter that spelled out the saying, "Forget About Me, I Love You." cool huh? Yeah, got it off this video from my psych class.**

**You know the deal people. Hit us up on how we doing! **

**AU REVOIR!  
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	4. Bella, Bella, Bella!

**Chapter 4: Bella! Bella! Bella!**

**A/N: Sorry about the wait Edward didn't want anyone to know about his feelings. He was being a stubborn ass. Anyway enough about him go on and find out what he didn't want you to know...**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, blah, blah, blah... you already know.  
**

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* * *

****Epov**

Damn Bella!

I have heard her name so many times this week it makes me sick. From family, to coworkers, and the worst person of all, me. She's been in my thoughts all week. No, not in that way so don't even think it. It's kind of hard not to think about her when everywhere you turn someone is talking about her.

To top things off, I have a fucking voice inside of my head that won't leave me the fuck alone. Ugh! I haven't gotten laid in so long…well, a few days, but it's a long time for me. I have never gone longer than a day. Fuck, I need to get some! I don't like being pissed off all the time.

The way she looked the last time I saw her is etched into my brain. Seeing her so vulnerable and weak was a side of her I had never seen before. When she was in my arms shaking with sobs I was forced to see her differently.

She was always confident and bitchy. I thought she was heartless and incapable of producing tears. She really did prove me wrong. I wanted to beat the shit out of her boyfriend or whoever the fuck he was. I may hate her but I didn't want anyone to hurt her. I mean she is a part of my family. I was upset that someone beat him before I got the chance. His fucked up face was fucking hilarious though. I do suspect she had something to do with his injuries. But what really pisses me off is since she's gone I have to do _all_ of my work now.

If I ever see him again…

I woke up and got ready for work. When I walked through the company doors guess who was there?

"Eddie!" The psycho exclaimed.

Oh, fuck no. Not her again.

I rolled my eyes and walked past her hoping she would get a fucking clue. I was wrong. She would never get it.

"Eddie, didn't you hear me?" She asked as she caught up to me and grabbed my arm.

"Don't call me Eddie. Now, let go of my arm." I told her as I pulled my arm away from hers.

"You are so funny." She batted her eyelashes and placed her hand on my arm.

Ugh! What the fuck did I ever see in you?

I let my eyes wander down to her chest, which was protruding out of her top. Don't judge me. I can still look.

"Are we going to lunch today?" She asked.

"No."

"Why not?" She asked meekly.

"I'm going to tell your ass one more time. We don't have anything together, okay? Now, read my lips real slowly so you can understand. I. Don't. Like. You."

"I know you were playing-"

"Look here you fucking psycho. I'm not interested. Get lost." She cackled creepily and grabbed my tie, pulling me down to her height. She had the same creepy look in her eyes as yesterday.

"No, you look here, _Eddie_. We had a fun night, now you're mine." She seethed through her teeth and released my tie.

This bitch was freaking me the fuck out. It was time to set her straight. I'm Edward fucking Cullen and no one's is going to punk me. I straightened my tie back out.

"Cut the crap, you don't know me! We fucked that was it! Get over it and leave me the fuck alone you fucking psycho! Damn!" I don't usually yell at women but you've seen how she is. I heard gasps and mummers. Damn, now we have an audience. Damn, my temper.

"Yes, I am a psycho. So don't fuck with me." She stood on her tip toes to whisper in my ear then kissed my cheek when she finished. I pulled away from her as fast as I could as she cackled again.

"Tanya, leave the boy alone. He don't want you." I don't know who said that but I was grateful for the distraction.

Thank you whoever you are.

"Look why don't you just mind your own business, ok?" Tanya voice was eerily calm although her eyes were deceitful.

That was my cue to leave. I turned and walked away laughing into my office while she was distracted. I heard them going at it, she was oblivious and didn't even know I was gone. I really have to thank that woman for the distraction. I just know Bella would have been on the floor dying if she was here right now. I could just hear her now.

My phone rang. "Mr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen is on line one for you." My new secretary said into the speaker.

Huh? Who?

"Uh, there are three Mr. Cullen's in this office including myself you have to be more elaborate." She was new so I was being nice this time.

"Oh, I am so sorry Mr. Cullen. I will not do it again. Please don't fire me. I meant Carlisle Cullen." She sputtered.

I laughed. "No, it's okay. Thank you, that's all." Then I clicked over to line one.

"Dad?"

"Edward, come to my office now." He hung up. I got up and took the elevator to his office.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked him.

"Yes, Edward come in and sit down." He said in a professional tone and waved me over. I walked in and sat down.

Damn, he doesn't look happy.

"I heard your little discussion with Tanya, in the hall."

"Who?" I asked.

"Don't play stupid, Edward."

"I really don't know who you're talking about." He sighed.

"The fucking temp, Edward." I'm not the only one who cusses.

"Oh her… I don't keep up with names Dad, you should know this."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with the women that work here?" He asked while he pinched the bridge of his nose.

This again?

"I know, I know. Believe me she will be the last one."

"She better be, Edward." He warned me with narrow eyes. Then he leaned back in chair. "Now, that's out of the way. What happened?" He asked curiously.

Good ol curiosity, thanks for saving me.

I told him all about her and her psycho ways. He laughed his fucking ass off, just like Emmett did. After dad calmed down he started his lecture. Then I heard a guffaw.

"Em, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I knew dad was going to call your ass in here. I didn't want to miss him cussing you out." He said as he walked in through the door.

"You thought it was funny when it happened to Emmett. Now, you have a psycho on your hands." Dad said laughing and shaking his head.

"Not so funny when it happens to you, is it?" Emmett asked smugly, by the door.

"It was still funny when it happened to you. You really should have seen your face when you busted into my office." I laughed at the memory.

"I guess you don't want to know about what happened in the hall, then." He taunted, I could care less.

"What happened?" Dad always has to know everything.

Nosy fucker.

"After you left." He looked at me. "Michelle punched Tanya." He said excitedly.

"There was a fight out there?" Dad asked.

"Yea, two guards had to get Michelle off of Tanya." He looked like he was a kid in a candy store. "You had to mess with my temp." Emmett said shaking his head.

"She had a nice rack, how was I supposed to know she was crazy?" I shrugged.

"You know, this wouldn't happen if _both_ of you would stay with one good girl." Dad said. We both groaned.

There's Carlisle for you, always trying to get us to settle down. He used to be a player like me until he met my mom, Esme. He _always_ tells us their love story. They have the typical girl changes player into a faithful, love struck fool story. You know the type of love they always show in the movies. He always warns us our "Esme" will come around and set us straight. Em said it isn't going to happen to him, he will always be a player. I've seen the movies heard the stories, and I've even seen it happen in real life. It always happens to the person that denies it. I don't want to jinx myself or anything so I keep quiet.

"Not gonna happen dad, you know that. I don't know why you try." Emmett said when he sat down into the chair next to me. I smirked at his obliviousness. He just jinxed himself.

"You know I used to tell my dad the same thing?" Carlisle asked Emmett thoughtfully.

"Yeah, can we skip the lecture? We already know everything you're going to say." He said offhandedly.

"Fine, just know that I'm right and you'll see what I'm talking about sooner or later."

"Yeah dad. Sure." We both said to placate him.

"You'll see one day." He warned. Emmett shifted his eyes around the room.

"I didn't see Bellie around here today. What did you do to her?" Emmett asked playfully yet menacingly. Bella's like his little sister.

"Why do you have to blame me for her disappearance?"

"You're always fighting with her."

"So."

"So?"

"I killed her and hid the body. Happy?" I said with heavy sarcasm.

"Funny, dumb ass. What really happened?" He asked.

"I don't know. She's your friend, you call her and ask her why she didn't show up today."

"You're her boss, you must know something. Fess up." Em, said looking at me suspiciously.

"Like I said, you talk to her." I crossed my arms.

"You're no fun, Eddie." He said pouting like a child and crossing his arms as well.

"Whatever, _Emmie_." I retorted, he glared.

"Both of you get out of my office and go do some work. Edward, this is your last chance, no more rendezvous in the office, got it?" Carlisle warned with a raised eyebrow.

"Won't happen again dad, promise." I told him.

_**...  
**_

Tanya didn't show up on Friday. She must be afraid to set foot up in the office now. So no more problems from her.

Bella didn't come on Friday either. No calls or anything. Hell, I wish she would call so everyone would leave me the fuck alone. Bella has never missed two days in a row before. Now everyone's panicking thinking she's dead or some shit. All around the office someone is saying something about her. Rumor after rumor after fucking rumor. Bella, Bella, Bella, especially from Emmett. No one would leave me alone. Everywhere I went someone would ask me about her. 'Is she okay? What happened? When will she be back?' I told them all to fuck off.

Once again I was called into my dad's office.

"I didn't do it." I said with my hands in front of me.

"What didn't you do?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"What do you think I did?" I asked him cryptically.

"All right, all right. Enough with the games, Edward. You're not in trouble." Dad said laughing.

"Just checking."

"I called you in here to see if you heard from Bella. Your mom said she tried calling her but she didn't answer. She told me Alice called for Bella and canceled their plans for lunch today. If you know something please tell me. Your mom is really worried." I sighed heavily.

"Serious-fucking-ly! Why is everyone asking me about Bella? I'm her fucking boss, not her nanny. Bella! Bella! Bella! Where is Bella? Bella this! Bella that! Fuck Bella! You want to know where Bella is, huh? You really you want to know?" I took a breath. "She's up your-"

"Edward." He said taken aback, with wide eyes. I took another deep breath and realized what I just said to my dad. He didn't deserve my outburst. I wasn't particularly talking to him I was just letting all of my anger out. We were silent as we stared at each other.

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Everyone is asking me about her and I finally snapped when you did too." He nodded his head silently.

Talk about putting your foot in your mouth. I knew this wasn't good. Carlisle wasn't the silent type. He usually yelled and cussed. I've never yelled at him like that before. I decided to tell him about Bella.

"She's fine. Something happened between her and her boyfriend. I witnessed some of it. I haven't told anyone but you until now. You can tell mom to stop worrying."

"I see." Once again he wasn't acting like his normal self.

I told Carlisle what happened on Wednesday night. After I was finished he looked like he wanted to rip what's his name head off. He loves Bella like a daughter. As I said before, I think he loves her more than me sometimes. He ran his hands through his hair, roughly. I think he was too distracted to think about what ad happened a few minutes ago.

"Bella was crying?" He asked me angrily.

"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck. Thinking about the last time I saw her made me anxious.

"You said he looked bad? Like someone beat him?" He asked curiously with a crease in his brow. I smiled thinking about what's his name's face. He smiled.

"Is she going to be okay?" He asked in a worriedly tone.

"Yea, I think so." I said to placate him. I really didn't know how she is, she looked really bad the last time I saw her.

"Let her take all the time off she needs, Edward. Don't give her any trouble."

"I did and dad I'm sorry for earlier."

"I know son." He said, getting up from his chair to give me a quick hug. "Oh and Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever yell at me again. I'll kill you." He smiled.

"O-okay, dad." I left the office as quick as I could after he said that, thinking of only one thing.

I need to get laid. Thank goodness it's Friday.

? Pov:

I was walking by Carlisle Cullen's office about to knock on his door and give him his mail when I heard him and Edward Cullen talking. This could be good. I might be able to finally get some dirt on Bella after all this time. I decided to stay and listen.

"_Bella was crying?" Carlisle asked._

"_Yeah." Edward said._

So the bitch was crying because of her boyfriend. Oh, this is going to be good. She's going to wish she never crossed me when she comes back to work on Monday.

Epov:

I left his office and the mail lady bumped into me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen." She said and walked into Carlisle's office.

**A/N: Don't skip. You'll regret it later on…**

We stumbled into the apartment building. I was ravishing her neck while I had her pinned against the wall. I went to a bar after I left the office and met Cassandra. She was more than happy to help me with my "big" problem, if you catch my drift. Anywhere but my place. It's my sanctuary. I'm not going to let random women ruin that for me. She reached for my belt and unhooked it. I turned us around so I was against the wall. Then she got on her knees in front of me. She started to pull my pants down-

I pulled her up by her shoulders before she took off my pants and pulled her in for a kiss, then I moved to her neck. She rubbed her hand on my big bulge in my pants. Damn, that felt good. My cock was sighing in contentment. She moaned my name when I lifted her up on to me. I groaned at the feeling of the friction that caused. Two days is far to many!

I carried to her to the bed and dropped her onto it. I held myself over her while we kissed. She moaned when I slid my fingers down her body. I pulled off her shirt and kissed the top of her breast. She moaned and reached under her back to unhook her bra. As soon as it was off I touched and squeezed them in my hands and sucked on the her left.

Then it happened... for the first time ever it, uh went down.

I pulled away from her and sat up on the bed. She did the same and looked at me, frustrated.

"Why did you stop?" She asked seductively and ran her hands over my back.

"I just remembered I have an early meeting in the morning. I have to go. Maybe another time." I told her as I stood up.

"What kind of man leaves before the sex even starts?" She huffed and crossed her arms pressing her breast together making her chest look voluptuous. I stared, mesmerized. Yet, nothing happened down there.

Oh, come on, how can you not be turned on by that?

"I'm very sorry." I said while I buckled my pants she stood up in all her glory.

"Are you serious? You're really going to leave me all hot and bothered. Fuck you! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" Then she walked back to her bed and sat down.

I looked at her once more then left the room to retrieve my shirt. Damn she was fine! Never thought I would cock-block myself.

I drove home completely frustrated. When I arrived, it was only a few minutes after ten. I dropped my keys into the bowl on the table angrily. I turned on the light in my living room. Emmett was on the couch using his iPod touch. Oblivious to my arrival. We both had keys to each other's places. He always came over when he wanted to and vice versa.

"Damn!" He exclaimed.

"What are you doing?" I asked, he didn't answer. I walked over and pulled one of the head phones out of his ear.

"Shit!" He exclaimed.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" I asked him again.

"Huh? Oh, when did you get here?" He said with his eyes glued to the iPod screen. I sat on the couch and glanced at the screen. There were four blue squares and a red square in the middle. The blue ones were rotating around.

"Few minutes ago. What the hell are you playing." I asked when I sat on the couch.

"Damn, almost…" Then he looked at me. "It's the most addictive game! What time is it?" He boomed then handed it to me.

"It's a little past ten." I said after I looked on my phone.

"Already? I've been playing that for two hours."

"Two hours? What do you do?" I asked him incredulously.

"You put you finger on the red square and keep it from touching the blue ones and the corners for as long as you can." He smiled.

"That's it? Really?" He nodded. "That's stupid. How can that be addictive? How can you play that for a couple of hours." I asked him in disbelief.

"Try it and see how long you can last without losing." He taunted me with a smirk.

I sighed. "Fine, I don't have anything else to do."

The first time I lasted for a little over three seconds. The next time I got a little past four seconds.

"Give it back now." He said while he was reaching for it.

"Wait, I know I can beat that." I said while I pulled away from him and I played again.

"Yes, six." I said.

….

_20 minutes later…_

"Eleven point nineteen." I exclaimed.

"Are you done?" Emmett asked impatiently.

"What's your high score?" I asked him distractedly.

"Thirteen point fifty." He said smugly.

"Then no." I said with my eyes still on the screen. I heard him sigh.

….

_20 more minutes later…_

"Fifteen point twenty." I said when I recorded my score.

"Thought it was stupid?" He asked with a smirk.

"It is… I just wanted to beat your score."

"Really… So you played this game for," he looked at his phone, "an hour because you wanted to beat my score?" He asked as he scrutinized me. "Admit it you're addicted."

"Never. What are you doing here anyway?" I asked to change the subject and I was curious.

"Figured I would hang out here, get some peace. What are you doing here? I thought you would be with some girl or something."

I was until I was interrupted…

"I was tired. Decided to come home and relax. I had a long day." I mumbled.

"Bullshit. What happen, did that crazy bitch scare you? Are you scared of women now?" He laughed. I rolled my eyes.

Is that why I couldn't?

"Psh, hell no. Now if you'll excuse me. I'm going to go to sleep." I said as I made my way up the stairs.

"But it's Friday night…." Emmett whined.

"Uh. So…?" I said not caring.

"And the party's here on the West side…" He sang from Montel Jordan's song.

"We're on the East-" I started to say. He interrupted.

"That's not the point!" He shouted, suddenly very outraged. "The point is there's a party around here somewhere and we need to be there. We are the Cullen Clan. This is _our_ town. We run this shit! So, therefore you are _not_ going to bed. You are going to take your sorry ass upstairs, get dressed, and _we're _going to party like it's 1999! And bro, it's obvious you didn't get laid tonight, so this is more of a need than a want. And that means it's mandatory! Don't even try any of your whiny ass excuses cause they ain't gon work. So go!" He pointed to the stairs. "Times a wastin and we got pussy to catch."

I stood there for a minute with slack jaw. Emmett was not much of a lecturer, but when it was something he felt strongly about you couldn't get him to such the hell up. That's part of the reason he's a great attorney.

"I thought you came here for peace?"

"Yeah, well… I lied. Now go." He pointed upstairs.

I did the only thing I could do. I took my "sorry ass" upstairs to get ready. I might be able to take him, but I'm not stupid. I know better than to fuck with a riled up Emmett.

...

I woke up very uncomfortable in the morning. Which I rarely ever do unless I'm at a woman's place. I tossed and turned a few times trying to get comfortable. Ow, it felt like I was laying on a board. This can't be my bed. I have a tempurpedic bed. I always felt like I'm on a cloud or some shit like that. I rolled over.

_BOOM!_

"What the fuck? Shit that hurt my head!" I rubbed the back of my head with my hand.

That's odd. I never fall out of the bed.

I opened my eyes and looked around. What the…table legs? A table in my room?

Looks like my kitchen table. Cabinets? Tile? Either this isn't my room or I've lost it. What the hell? I tried to sit up.

Fuck, my head is pounding. What the fuck did I do last night?

I tried to remember what happened and all I got was a even bigger headache. After a few minutes I finally stood up. I felt like the room was spinning around me. I had to grab the first thing next to me to stop me from falling. A chair? I really was in the kitchen. I'm also certain I was sleeping on my kitchen table.

What? The? Fuck?

Then I heard a loud crash in the living room. I ran to go see what happened. Well, more like stumbled. I got to the living room and I almost tripped. I looked down and saw clothes on the floor that lead to Emmett. He was passed out on my now broken coffee table. I kicked him. He didn't even move an inch. I kicked him again, harder.

"EMMETT! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I yelled at him angrily. I couldn't remember anything, but I knew he had something to do with this mess. I regretted that instantly when my head started pounding ten times worse than before. It felt as if there was little tiny men using big as ass hammers in my head. I stumbled over to the couch and sat down. He groaned and opened his eyes.

"Huh? What? Shit! It feels like little men are drilling in my head. Not so loud, Ed." He whispered while he closed his eyes and held his head.

"How the hell did you get over there?" I asked him in a low voice. He turned over to the other side, facing away from me.

Only he wouldn't notice where he's laying.

"Shit, I don't know. Please, stop yelling. I can't take it." He groaned.

I walked over to the couch, laid down, then placed my arms over my eyes to block out the light that was shining through the window. We were both quiet for a while. Any noise was too painful to hear at the moment.

Little flashbacks from last night started to play in my head.

….

_We were at the bar about to order drinks. "Say Aah" by Trey Songz started playing._

"_That's my shit! Come on girls lets dance!" Emmett, boomed as he pulled two girls with him to dance. _

_I saw this tall, sexy brunette eyeing me from across the room. Being the playa that I am all I did was smile at her. Next thing I knew we were on the dance floor while she was grinding her ass up on my crotch while we danced. Just like the song said, shawty danced like a video vixen. My dick was happy to get some type of action after tonight._

_I'm really thinking about leaving with her if she continues to do that._

"_Go girl. It's your birthday. Open wide. Know you're thirsty. Say aaah. Aaaaah. Say aaah. And we don't buy no drinks at the bar we pop champagne cuz we got that dough. Let me hear you say aah. Aaaaah." Emmett was singing the lyrics horribly. _

_He couldn't sing to save his life. I laughed._

"_Em, stop making your girls suffer and let Trey sing his own song." I yelled to him. He flipped me off._

"_What's your name?" She asked seductively._

"_Edward. What's yours?" I asked to be polite. Knowing I wouldn't remember it later._

"_Isabelle." She purred._

_Isabelle? Her name is too similar to Bella's. now that I look at her she almost has the same hair as Bella's, only darker._

_I wonder where she is right now… _

"_Edward?" She asked bringing me out of my reverie. Her voice sure wasn't the same as Bella's. _

_Why am I thinking about her anyway?_

"_Yeah?" I asked her distractedly. _

"_I called your name three times didn't you hear me?"_

"_No. Sorry, it's too loud in here." I lied smoothly._

"_Let's go somewhere a little quieter. But first I'm thirsty. You wanna go to the bar?" She turned her head to look at me. _

"_Yea." She grabbed my hand and we walked to the bar. She asked for a vodka on the rocks and I asked for a beer._

_We sat at the bar for a while and talked._

….

I really don't recall what happened after that. I'm guessing I didn't get any because I woke up alone. And it's obvious Emmett didn't either. I should have gotten her number. I got hard thinking about the way she danced.

"Hey do you remember anything from last night?" I asked him about an hour later.

"Nope."

Shit. I really wanted that girls number!

"I know you can think of something."

"The best days are the days you can't remember."

"Someone's feeling better." I commented.

All we have to do is lay down for a while and our hangover almost vanishes. We take Advil to get rid of our headaches and were fine. We have never suffered from a hangover for more than a few hours.

"Hell yeah. We must have had a crazy night. We have to do that again."

"I don't think so. I just woke up on the kitchen floor." I stated.

"Fuck, my back hurts." He exclaimed when he sat up and stretched.

"You're on my broken coffee table. Your fucking back is going to hurt."

"What? How the fuck did I get on here?"

"You're only realizing this now?" I asked him in amazement.

"This is some funny shit." He laughed.

"Mom's not going to think so." I said smugly.

"Fuck." He rubbed the back of his neck. His face was priceless.

Everyone knows not to fuck with Esme.

Mom bought Emmett and I identical coffee tables for house warming gifts. She claimed when she saw them she just knew she had to have them for our living rooms. She's one of the most famous interior decorators in New York City. She was obsessed when she decorated our houses. She knew what she was doing and we had no fucking clue about certain colors, textures and shit like that. We had no say in the way we wanted our houses to look. I just know she's going to be pissed off about the table being broken. I would hate to be Emmett, he's going to pay for it in more ways than one when she finds out what happened to it. I won't tell her. I'm no snitch. And I'm rich. I don't give a fuck about a table, I'll just take his. But, she will find out somehow. You know the saying a mother knows everything? That applies to her. We all wonder how she does it. Even dad.

"Maybe I can replace it before she notices." He said after a few minutes passed.

"Good luck with that. I don't think its going to work though."

"You're not going to tell her are you?" He asked panicking.

"What are we, ten? I don't care as long as you get me a new one."

"Then why won't it work?"

"Do you remember when you were sixteen and you had a party while mom and dad were gone?"

"I had a lot of parties…"

"You put all of the valuables away before it started…"

"I did that a lot of times." He interrupted.

"Except this time you forgot about mom's favorite vase. Some guy broke it while he was walking to the kitchen."

"Yeah, I kicked his ass and threw everyone out afterwards." He said cracking his knuckles.

"You remember what happened after?"

"I said maybe I can replace it before she notices. Then I replaced it. Shit. I don't know how but she knew it was different than the other one. They were exactly the same. How did she know?"

"I don't know. Are you really going to try that again?"

"Yep." He never learns. "I'm going to go take a shower." He stood up and walked to the stairs.

"Hey bring me the Advil from the bathroom cabinet!" I yelled as he ran up the stairs

"Get them yourself!" He yelled back.

"You broke my table you owe me!" I shouted back. He threw the bottle from the stairs and it hit my head. "Fucker!" I yelled. He laughed his booming laugh. Then it hit me.

….

"_So, what do you do Edward?"_

"_I'm a lawyer. You?" I asked her uninterested._

"_Do you really want to know? Or do you want to kiss me instead?" She asked. We were both drunk off our asses._

_She leaned forward…_

_What the fuck?_

_I saw Bella's face and I pulled away before she could kiss me._

"_What's wrong?" she asked._

_What the hell is wrong with me. I'm know I'm drunk but...why did I see Bella just now?_

"_I gotta go." I got up and walked away to the bar stunning myself and her._

_Her name was Isabelle, she was a brunette and I saw Bella's face. She was beautiful but she reminded me too much of Bella._

_Bella! Bella! Bella!_

_Would it ever end?_

_I ordered more drinks at the bar and a blond caught my attention. _

….

I got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen and took out a water bottle out of the refrigerator and took the Advil. Next, I took out the eggs, bell pepper, ham, bacon and everything else I needed to make a few omelets out the fridge and set them on the counter next to the stove. After that I took the seasons salts out of the cabinets. I'm no great cook but I know enough about cooking not to starve. Can't say the same for Emmett.

I cooked breakfast for myself and Emmett because he would have taken mine. I took a shower afterwards. For the rest of the day Emmett went to multiple stores until he found the same coffee table. Problem was it wasn't being delivered until Monday. Our parents were coming over to my place tomorrow. I composed a piece on my piano and enjoyed watching him pace around the room trying to come up with a plan. He can be an idiot sometimes. I decided to let him out of his misery.

"You know you could just bring _yours_ over here?" I said casually.

"Bring what?" He asked absent-mindedly.

"Your coffee table. We have the same one." I specified.

"Oh, yeah..." He said dumbly. "Thanks. I'll be back." He left to his house to retrieve his table.

This whole situation is ridiculous. But, it is Emmett. He came back some time later and replaced my table with his. He plopped down onto my couch.

"She'll never notice." He said proudly.

"That's what you think..."

"What are you talking about this plan is bullet proof?"

"We'll see."

"I bet you fifty bucks."

"Okay."

I couldn't wait until Sunday. Emmett was in for it and I was going to get 50 dollars.

...

I got out of bed and went to take a shower. After that I cleaned up my place. I didn't like a messy place and my mom would kill me if I did. I decided to play my piano for a while to pass time until everyone comes over for our weekly family dinner. And no I'm not cooking. Esme is. A few hours later mom and dad arrived. Shortly after Emmett, Jasper and Alice arrived. The women were in the kitchen and we were watching a football game in the living room. Esme came into the room.

"Edward, why do you have Emmett's coffee table in your living room?"

"How did you know?" Emmett jumped up from the couch. He turned to me. "You told her didn't you?"

"Nope. You just did." I said dryly.

"Emmett?" She asked impatiently.

"Well you see what had happened was… I broke the table and replaced mine with his hoping you wouldn't notice."

"Really, and how did you break it?" She asked sweetly.

"I don't know." He shrugged

"Don't lie to me." She said sternly.

"I-I really don't. I woke up on it and it was broke." He shrugged.

"Why would you get on the table?" She asked him like he was a little boy.

"I was drunk."

Everyone was turning their heads back and forth to Emmett and mom. He looked so frightened. Alice even came in and watched the show. It was hilarious.

"Let me get this straight. You were drunk and you woke up on the coffee table?" She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" She laughed.

"You should see the look on your face. You thought I would be pissed off because you broke his coffee table?"

We all shouted yes at the same time. She laughed even harder.

"If it was mine then I would have been but I don't give a damn about yours." She answered then she walked into the kitchen to check on the food.

"Damn, I thought she was going to kill you. Pay up, Em." I told him with my hand out. I was disappointed that Emmett didn't get cussed out at least.

"No, she didn't get mad." He replied.

"That wasn't part of the deal. Pay up."

"Fine." He gave me fifty dollars.

"What was that about?" Alice asked.

"Just a little bet."

"It was about if I figured out about the table being broken wasn't it." Esme asked knowingly from the kitchen.

The rest of the dinner was uneventful we ate, talked and soon after that everyone left. I couldn't help but think it would have been a lot better if Bella had been here. Because she was mentioned quite a lot.

_**...  
**_

I woke up on Monday morning hoping Bella was returning to work today. Never thought I would think that. But, it's true. Don't get me wrong, I still hate her. I just want people to leave me the fuck alone about her. I have heard her name more times in the last week when she was gone than when she was here. So today I'm waking up hoping everything is back to normal.

When I arrived to work I saw two people whispering to each other. They looked at me suspiciously when I walked by them and whispered to each other some more. This would have been the perfect time to be able to read minds. I also got suspicious looks whenever I passed by anyone else. I felt like I was missing out on a huge secret. Much more important than the usual gossip people talk about everyday. I don't know why but I was really curious and wanted to find out what everyone was talking about this time. After I finally made it to my office I realized someone was sitting in my chair. I didn't know who, because I only saw the back of the chair until I turned it around.

"Oh, it's just you." I said slightly disappointed.

"Aww, still the same as always. Is that any way to greet anyone?"

"Whatever." I replied.

"Who did you think I was?"

"No one" I replied.

"Wait. Did you think I was-"

"No… Why would I?" I interrupted.

"Uh, huh." He said unconvinced. "You did, didn't you?" Emmett boomed excitedly. "Aww, Eddie misses Bella." I looked at him in disbelief.

"Do not. I can't stand her. Now get out of my chair." He looked up and smiled suspiciously.

"B's cool. Why don't you like her?"

"She's a bitch." I shrugged.

"And you're a narcissistic dick, Cullen." I turned around and saw Bella standing in front of my office door.

He set me up. Fucker. Wait, how long has she been standing there?

"Bellie, I missed you!" He hopped out of the chair and grabbed her into a bone crushing hug when she walked in.

"I missed you too, Em. But, I can't breathe." She said in a strained voice.

"Edward." She said to me coldly after Emmett set her down.

"Welcome back, Swan." She glared.

"Emmett, can I talk to Edward alone?" She asked him sweetly while she was glaring at me.

"I'm not about to miss you chew Eddie's ear off." He boomed. She turned around to face him. I rolled my eyes knowing exactly what she was going to do. Emmett doesn't stand a chance.

"Please? For me?" She looked at him through her eyelashes and pouted. No one could resist the pout.

"Okay, Bellie. I'll go this time." He said smiling showing her his dimples. I raised an eyebrow at him. He smirked at me before he walked out and stood in the doorway.

"Emmett!" She exclaimed in disbelief.

"What? I'm not inside." He said innocently.

"Go." She pointed out the door.

"Fine." He said then walked out. She closed it after he left.

"I-" She stopped because I cleared my throat and pointed to my office window. Emmett glared at me when she walked over and shut the blinds. She was silent for a few minutes.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked to break the silence. She blushed and looked down at her feet.

"I wanted to thank you for…you know." She said softly.

Am I hearing right? Did Isabella Swan just _thank _me for something? Is she being _nice_ to me?

"About that… How are you… uh, doing?" I asked her awkwardly. I didn't know what to say. She has never done that before. It caught me off guard.

"I'm good. Now… Thanks for um... asking." She said still looking down.

"I have to ask. What happened to what's his name before I arrived?"

"Jacob?" She looked up at me and asked.

"Yeah… him."

"I might have beathimwithabat." She sped through the last part.

"Didn't catch the last part." I said confused.

"I beathimwithabat." She mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I. Beat. Him. With. A. Bat.." She smiled and blushed again.

"Seriously?" I asked in shock and disbelief. She nodded. I laughed so hard my stomach was killing me.

"I didn't know you had it in you. Remind me not to piss you off anymore."

She laughed and said, "I would never hit you with a bat." I stared at her astounded with one eyebrow raised. Her whole face turned as red as a tomato when she realized what she said.

"Did I say that out loud?" I smirked and nodded.

"Oh, uh do you have any work for me?" She said to change the subject.

"Yeah, it's on your desk."

"Oh! Thanks, bye." She tripped when she ran for the door.

The rest of the day Bella was actually nice to me. Sort of. It was weird. It was like I was in the Twilight zone or something.

She wasn't her usual mean and sarcastic self. She was actually nice to me, she even laughed a few times. We worked together without bickering or insults. I finally caught a little glimpse of the side of her everyone else knew. I didn't know if I preferred this Bella or the bitchy Bella I've known for two years.

To tell you the truth she was scaring the hell out of me. I did have a feeling she wouldn't be that way for long.

I was sitting at my desk looking over some cases when Bella stormed into my office looking furious. This was a change from how today had been.

It was a look that would make any man shit his pants. Except for me, of course.

"Hey, Bella. What can I do for you?" I asked cautiously. If there was one thing I learned to fear it was a pissed off woman.

"How could you?" She said, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. I stood up out of my chair.

"What's wrong? What are you talking about?" I asked her questioningly.

"Do you really hate me that much?" She walked over to me.

"I'm confused what-"

She slapped me. She fucking slapped me. I put my hand to my cheek and stared at her surprised, unable to form any words. No woman has ever done that before.

"Don't act like you don't know!" She screamed.

Shit, that hurt! What the hell is she talking about?

"Did you just slap me? What the fuck, Bella!"

* * *

**A/N: Ooooooooooh, no she didn't put her hands on him. Anyhoo review and we"ll update soon. The next chapter is already finished just needs to be edited. talk to you next time (:**_**  
**_


	5. Yesterday

_**Chapter 5: **_

**A/N: LEMON ALERT! LEMON ALERT! **

**I just want to warn people. This is my first lemon so if i**t** sucks (pun intended)…do what you want. Review, don't review. Its whatever. This is a hella long chapter, sorry. Lots of emotion and happiness. I keep changing shit trying to get it right. We have some new characters that I think you might enjoy. Plus you get to find out why Bellie slapped the shit out of Eddie. Read and find out!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, S.M. does. Heffer. **

* * *

Bpov

_Maybe you should start thinking things though before you act on them next time._

Maybe.

Here I am pacing in SeaTac airport with my luggage on the seat at eleven at night without a fucking clue of what to do next.

Go to my dads house or a hotel? I didn't even call them to let them know I was coming. I haven't really spoken to my dad or Sue in over a year. How the hell do I know if they haven't disowned me? And if they didn't and I turned up out of thin air my dad was sure to give me the third degree. They're probably sleep anyway, blissfully unaware of me and my fucked up life problems. Maybe I should just hop my ass back on the plane back to reality instead of trying to run away from my problems. Try and be a grown up for once in my life. I could go to my mom and Phil in Phoenix but she would probably give the _forth_ degree.

Fuck my life.

"You're going to give yourself a tumor thinking that hard." A familiar deep voice called.

My baby brother Seth.

He's not my blood brother, but we act like we are. He and his mom moved in next door to my dad and Jasper three years after my mom left. She was a widow with a two year old and she needed a start fresh. Jasper says it was like love at first sight. I was only nine at the time and still wanted my mom and dad to be together so I didn't like Sue much.

That all changed one summer when I went to stay over at Charlie's place. Jasper was with my mom in Arizona at that time. I went in the woods by myself after my dad told me not to. I was supposed to go to Sue's house while my dad went to work, but _my_ ten-year-old self decided to be rebellious. I didn't want to go over my dad's new girlfriend's house. I felt I was old enough to make my own decisions.

I was out there for hours just wandering. At first it was fun, but when I wanted to go home and couldn't find my way out I panicked and began to cry, and it gets fuzzy from there. I thank Sue every chance I get for doing what she did cause who knows if I'd be alive if she hadn't. But some how by the grace of God, she found me. All I remember is it being near dark and curling into a ball on the forest ground to keep warm, and I guess I fell asleep. Sue took me back to her house, cleaned me up, worked her motherly magic on me to calm down, I was so frantic. Sue told me that this would be kept between us. However, if it ever happened again she would have to tell Charlie. To this day Charlie still doesn't now about my little "adventure" I had that day. I respected and trusted the women form that day forward.

But, even though Sue and I had a rocky start, Seth stole my heart from the beginning. I had always wanted a younger sibling like I was to Jasper, and he made it come true. I adored him with his sunny grin and vibrant eyes. Sue and Charlie got married a year after that summer and they have been inseparable since. Now I have another younger sister, Mackenzie, and she is the most awesome 10 year old you'll ever meet. Gets it from me, of course.

I looked at the tall lanky seventeen-year-old boy, with his black skateboard hair, dark semi-skinny jeans, black and gray stripped hoodie and black vans. He had huge welcoming grin on his tan face which soon turned into a massive smile. He was always so damn happy.

"How many times have you told me that?" I asked. He enveloped me into a hug. My feet came off the ground with his hunmgous 6'4 height to my 5'5.

"Too many," He spun me around. Even though we talk frequently and he keeps me updated on the family, I haven't seen him in over a year. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him. He put me down and sat next to me on the bench.

"Okay, so now that the hellos are out of the way, what the hell are you doing here sis? Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but we usually get a call first. You never show up unexpected…. unless…Bella, why aren't you in New York?" His curiosity quickly tuned to suspicion as he interrogated me, and the brother in him came out. I bit my lip and looked at the ground trying to beat down the embarrassment of my story the I knew was evident on my face.

Yeah, Seth was my brother, but should I tell him? I mean, I know he'd never say anything if I asked him to but…when Jacob came to visit with me for the first and last year Seth wasn't fond of Jacob, but he accepted him for me. He knew I loved him and supported me.

"B, what happened? Last week you sounded so happy and content. Now…no offense, but you look like shit. What's up?" I chuckled humorlessly at his bluntness. Its not like it surprised me though. I knew I looked how I felt .He starred at me with an openly concerned expression, pleading with me to pore my heart out.

"Why do you think something happened?" I tried avoiding the question out of habit. I didn't like sharing my feeling with anyone about anything. I knew it was stupid, but to me it showed weakness. All my life I've always guarded my feeling until I was by myself or I had some random breakdown, which was about once a year that anyone rarely sees. I never cry or show how really feeling. The only you would ever know is if knew how to read my face, which few people do. I probably need therapy for all of what I keep inside because one day I'm destined to pop, no doubt.

"You're avoiding the question." Damn, he knew me too well. "And you're not looking me in the eye, which is something you do when you're lying, hiding something, or covering up your emotions. don't forget sis, I know you better than you know yourself. But don't trip, if you're not comfortable telling me it's cool. I understand. But so you know, I'm here when you want to talk." He spoke warmly, and I knew he was telling me the truth. I also knew I was going to tell him. I could never keep anything from him, and he knew it. That's why he never pressures me.

But, for now, he just put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder and we just sat.

"I was blind." I whispered, with my eyes closed, almost inaudibly about ten minutes later .

I felt his eyes on my face. "How? What do you mean?"

"Jacob cheated on me." I whispered

Seth tuned his whole body to me and I finally looked at him. His eyes didn't hold any of the anger or pity I expected. I saw nothing but love in his hazel orbs. He hugged me again but didn't let go.

"What's the story?" He asked in my hair.

And so I told him. It's not like I could not, or lie. You saw how easy it was for him to see that _something_ was wrong with me. My defense are useless with him.

"Jackass." He murmured a few moments after I had finished. It made me laugh. "I know you beat his ass, right? I mean, it would be an insult to me if you didn't do anything to him. I _was _the one who taught you how to fight." He pulled away to look at me with a grin. His joking lightened the mood. Neither one of us wanted to get off the subject more than me. I knew he didn't want to see me sad and this was his way of making me feel better.

I chuckled. "Boy please, I'm the one who taught _you_ how to throw a punch." I demonstrated on his arm. He looked pleased that he had temporally changed my mood even though he winced.

"Yeah, yeah. You still hit like a girl." I smiled at him. He smiled back.

"Run" was all I said. He got up and booked it.

I laughed some more, it felt good, and ran after him. This act was very familiar to me. Seth and I were always the athletic ones in the family. We had fun chasing each other around and tackling one another. It was like football without a ball, or tag with tackling. When Jasper was with us he joined in to. We usually doubled teamed him.

I found him hiding behind a wall next to the bathrooms. I might be older, but I was still fast. Dance in high school and track in college conditioned me to keep in shape, plus it helped solve my balance problems, and his lanky height made him clumsy.

I tackled him when he tried to run, and then I punched him in his chest, hard. He was a guy, he could take it.

"Now, what about my hit?" I said slightly out of breath while pinning him on the ground. People were passing by and giving us looks. I even heard one lady mummer "rascals". But I didn't give a shit, I was having fun with my brother.

"I…I said you hit like no other guy I've ever known." He said trying to catch his breath.

"That's what I thought." I got off him and helped him up. After we got up, we walked back to my luggage.

"Now, since you know why I'm here, why are _you_ here?" I poked him in the chest.

"Oh. I was dropping off a friend." He said nonchalantly.

"At eleven at night?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. He joined the military and had to be in Texas at two in the morning. We had a going away party at his girl's house. She would have driven him but they decided it would be too hard." He shrugged.

"How sweet of you. But, you know it's a school night, right? You're going to be like, hella tired tomorrow."

"Aww, how sweet of _you_ to go all big sis on me." I stuck my tongue out at him. He chuckled.

"Joking, joking. But seriously, don't trip, Ima be fin-" He was cut off by his yawn.

"Sure you are." I pacified. He gave me a look.

"Shut up. I am." he looked at my luggage. "Come on. You're going home with me." He picked up my luggage. I stood there uncertain.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh, it's just I uh...I don't want to intrude. I mean this is kind of….unexpected, you know? And uh…what if their mad at me? I mean, I haven't spoken to anyone besides you in, like, a year and-"

He walked up to me and bopped me on the forehead with the palm of his hand. "You need a V-8." Then he grabbed my hand and practically dragged me out of the airport to his car.

"You didn't have to do that you know. I'm not four." I said standing in front of the passenger door of his car crossing my arms across my chest, not helping my argument at all.

He rolled his eyes. "Get in." he said and got in the car.

I huffed, but followed orders because I figured he would be my only ride for hours, and I was freezing my ass off just by standing here.I messed with radio the while he drove.

"You know how I feel about that." yeah, he always got annoyed when I couldn't find a station, but if he just got a updated one I wouldn't have to. But he claimed it would destroy the original nature of the car, and blah, blah, fucking blah. So I fucked with it on purpose just to piss him of. Ain't I a stinker.

"Yeah, and you know I don't give a shit."

"Whose car is this?"

"Who bought it?"

"Mom and Dad."

"So."

"So what?"

"So who are you?"

"Someone."

"Someone who?"

"Someone who owns this car."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Who cares?"

"I do?"

"Exactly."

"Exactly what?"

"You're the only one who cares. Therefore it doesn't matter."

I cut what he was about to say off by turning up the radio.

He just glared out at the dark road frowning, knowing he wasn't going to win this one. He never did. Some tech-no song was playing. I flipped though the channels and found one playing Paramore's "Careful". This was my shit.

"Fuck no." He shook his head.

"Fuck yes." I said. This was my song.

"Fuck no. I can't stand her voice. She can't sing for shit" Uhp, he needed to clean his ears.

"Well maybe if you cleaned your nasty ass wax filled ears every once and a while, you would find that she can sing, and her voice is awesome. So stop hating on Haley, shut up, and drive. Please." I gave him a pointed look to let him know i meant business even though I said please.

He mumbled something under his breath that sounded like "You can shut up and get out." I let it slide for now because he wasn't about to mess up my groove. Five minutes later Seth broke the silence. We can never stay mad at each other for long.

"You're going with mom during the day tomorrow. She's gonna want to talk to you. I knew that was coming. I didn't mind talking to Sue though. I could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge. That's one of her greatest qualities. Now my real mom was a whole different novel.

"Then you're going with me tomorrow after school."

"Where?" I inquired curiously.

"To the mall…with Sarah." He murmured with hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Sarah…Sarah from across the street? Sarah who you've hated since you were four?"

"Yeah. But now she's Sarah…my girlfriend." he looked straight out the window as he told me.

"How long?" I asked suspiciously. I had a feeling this wasn't resent.

"Three months." I admit, I was a little miffed that he'd waited this long to tell me, but I guess he had to do it on his own time. I understood though, I was the queen of that. I shrugged it off.

"Finally." I was not the least bit surprised, I always knew it would happen. It was fate.

"What?" He asked incredulous. I gave him a look.

"Dude, it's been obvious from day one. Sue and Mrs. Crowly have been secretly planning your wedding for years now."

"Are you shitting me?" I chuckled.

"No. I don't shit. I'm just not surprised. Sarah is a great girl and you deserve her. Though if you fuck it up I will castrate you. But otherwise, I'm happy for you little bro." I patted his arm. And I was. They were meant to be. Just like Alice and Jasper were perfect for each other. My brothers were good men.

"I'm happy for you too." He said after a while. And I knew what he meant.

"Me too." I wasn't all the way there, but I wasn't going to resent life because I got dealt a few shitty cards. That's not in my nature. Things might be bittersweet right now, but I am happy. I'm happy that I found out when I did and not when we were married with two kids.

We got to the gate of the my dad's house and Seth punched in the code. The gate opened to the five bedroom three and a half bathroom mansion. My dad was the chief of Seattle police and Sue owed a chain of book stores, they were well off. This used to be my home during my last year of my high school education. It never fully felt like home, but right now it felt more welcoming then it ever had. He drove into the garage next to my dad's cruiser, Sue's Range Rover, and my old truck. That truck got me though a lot in this town my senior year. I don't know why my dad hasn't gotten rid of it, but I'm glad he hasn't.

"Come on. Time to get you to bed." I said to Seth. He was falling asleep at the wheel.

We got out and Seth got my bag. He open the door to the house from the garage and walked in to the kitchen. The kitchen stove light was on.

"Seth?" A women voice called. One of the sweetest voices in the world. She must have been waiting up for him.

Sue same into view from around the kitchen counter. She froze in her floor length cotton robe when she saw me. I stiffened, apprehensive about her reaction to my unexpected visit. Then she smiled a warm smile at me.

"Bella." She said walking toward me with her arms open. I met her halfway and hugged her as tight as she hugged me. Relived.

"Sweet, sweet Bella." She whispered I'm my ear.

I'd forgotten how good it felt to be in a mother's arms. Sue was always more than a mother to me than my mom. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother with all my heart and she was a good mom, but just different. She was always more of a free sprit. Sue was more of a caretaker. I had to hold back a sob from the emotions I felt thinking about my mom. I haven't seen my mom in over a year. Same with Sue and Charlie.

She pulled back and stared at my face I tried to wash away all trace of crying, but she caught me and raised a eyebrow. "We'll talk tomorrow." She put her hand on my cheek and I nodded. I wasn't really up to it now anyway. She put her arm around me and turned to Seth. He was leaning against the counter falling asleep on his feet. My poor brother.

"Seth." Sue said softly.

"Huh? What?" He asked disoriented looking around. I giggled.

"Get Bella's things to her room and go to bed."

"No pro (yawn) blamo." He said sleepily. He moved towards the stairs and stumbled upon them.

Sue walked me to my room. "Your father will be happy you're home." she said kindly.

"I hope so." I wasn't worried about having to talk to Sue, but Charlie was a whole different story.

She smiled and left me to get settled closing the door. I looked around my old room. Nothing had changed since my senior year. I moved things around a little ever time I visited but nothing dramatic. I liked it that way. Helps me remember my old teenage days. The days where I had no worries and no one to answer to. A boyfriend that loved me for me and loved to make life interesting. No bills, no bosses, no bullshit. These last few days had been so exhausting that I didn't even bother to undress. I fell onto my old queen size bed, fully clothed, on top of the covers and went straight to sleep.

_**...**_

I woke up to the sun in my face. How annoying? I put my pillow over my head, turing over, telling it to fuck off.

"Well, good morning to you too." A deep male voice chuckled. Charlie. A.K.A Daddy. I rolled over to my dad and opened one eye. He had on a dark blue suit and white shirt, ready for work, grinning down at me. My dad co-owned a construction company for some years now with his best friend Sam. He used to be a manager to on now he owns his own. What a guy.

"Hi dad." My voice was hoarse from sleep.

"Hey Bells." I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and wiped the sleep out of my eyes. I tried to fix my clothes that I slept in. They were all twisted and wrinkled. I kicked my shoes off too.

"What time is it?" I asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed with me.

He looked at his watch. "Ten. I have to leave in a few but when Sue told me you were here I wanted to see you before I left. I didn't mean to wake you. You look tired…" He trailed off and reached up to put his hand under my chin and examine my face. His expression turned serious with whatever he saw. "Tell me who I have to shoot." I bit my lip.

How the hell do parents do that? Just by looking at you know something's wrong. I sighed and looked away from him to my hands. I knew I was going to have to tell him. We don't keep secrets in this family. But that didn't mean I wanted to.

"Spit it out." He ordered. I wanted to make a comment about him ordering me around but my dad no bullshit type of person. He had a short fuse and wouldn't appreciate my smart mouth right now.

I kept my eyes on my hands in my lap, avoiding his stare. I got straight to the point. "Jacob…cheated on me." I whispered, more self-conscience than when I told Seth. I knew _he_ wouldn't say anything, only try and make me feel better. My voice caught in my throat as I fought back tears. Stupid fucking emotions. As much as I try to act tough and not care, I know I do.

It was silent for a few moments as we sat in silence. I had a feeling my dad was either trying to think of what to say or contemplating Jacobs death. I knew he didn't want the whole story. He would never try and invade my personal life like that. I felt his hand smooth down my bed head and looked at him.

He face held nothing but love. "He never deserved you." he said. I was confused. I was all ready for the "I told you so." Seth wasn't the only one not on team Jacob, he just hid it better. My dad made no effort to hide his dislike for Jacob a year ago when we visited. That was part of the reason I haven't been here or spoken to them in so long.

"Aren't you going to say I told you so?" I asked furrowing my brow.

"Nope. I figure you're telling yourself that enough. Why do you need to hear it from me? But I will say this though." He took my hands in his and looked me dead in the eye. "Any man who has the audacity to cheat on a you is nothing but a scared coward inside. And I'm not just saying this because I'm father. This goes for all women who give their heart to someone. You should able to trust the one you love." I looked down at our hands my breathing shaky.

"I thought I could. I…I guess I was wrong. I mean, _four years _I'd known him. The first two were awesome. Just two friends hanging out and having fun. I've been thinking a lot about our relationship. It's been a rough couple of days. All I can think of is how stupid I was...and…how much I still love him." My voice cracked broke at the end of my rant and fell into my daddy's arms and he held me tight.

I felt safe and secure. I thought about how I used to feel safe and secure in Jacobs arms. Or how I _thought _I felt. I used to think of him as my safe harbor. The one to lean on when I fell, and fix me when I was broke. Now I feel as if it was all false. Like for the last two years I've been living a lie.

Talking about it like this, actually talking about how I feel and not holding it in makes me feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't realized how much I had been holding it in until now as I sobbed on my dad's shirt. If he'd cared he didn't voice it. He just let me stain his shirt with salt water and snot as he rocked me side to side.

"Why do I sill love him daddy? Why? Why can't I just let him go and move on? Why didn't he love me enough to not cheat on me? Not to hurt me?" I asked when I could speak though my sobs. My dad just rocked and cooed me until I calmed down. When I finally quieted enough, he spoke.

"That's life baby doll. You win some, you lose some. It confusing as hell and we don't always get the answers we want, but we usually get the ones we need. We just got to keep fighting." He sighed and pulled me back in to a hug. My dad had never been this affectionate. He was a great dad, but he didn't wear his feelings on his sleeve. But I understood, that's just who he was. I think Sue has gotten to him over the years though. "You have a lot of people who love you Bella, and don't want you to get hurt. And none of us were upset with you for shutting us out. Maybe a little hurt, but we got over it. We knew you'd come around when you were ready."

"What about mom?" I asked timidly. He hesitated. That was one conversation I knew was going to be long and hard. A lot of anger and yelling. My mom was not as forgiving as my dad. She also was one of a _lot_ of words. I needed time to prepare myself for that. I'm more like my dad than my mom in so many ways. I rather wait till the last minute if I can. My mom always said "Procrastination never gets you anywhere but a job at Mc Donald's." That didn't really apply now though.

He finally spoke. "Maybe I speak for myself when it comes to her. But understand, she was hurt when you cut her out of you life. She loves you to death." _I know. She'd also beat me to death too. _I thought.

"You'll always be our little girl." He murmured softly. My dad pulled back and smiled a comforting grin that made his eyes crinkle and he looked ten years younger. I attacked him into another bear hug and he put his arms back around me. This is the most tactile stimulation we've ever had.

"Thank you daddy. I really needed this. Thanks." I whispered into his neck. I let him go and wiped my tears away. There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Sue peeked though the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything." She said sheepishly.

"No, no it's fine." She sighed. I had a feeling she heard some though. Sue can be discreet like that.

"Oh, okay well if I didn't interrupt anything…" She turned to Charlie. "I just wanted to tell you you're going to be late honey." She said to him. He looked down at his watch and jumped up.

"Shit. I have to go." He looked at me. "We'll continue this later. I want to here how New York's going." I nodded. He kissed me on my forehead, walked to Sue and kissed her and left.

"Okay Bella. Looks like it's just us girls today. So you're going to the store with me today. Seth and Mackenzie already left for school. And we still need to talk. So get ready. We're leaving in an hour." I nodded and she smiled at me before walking out and closing the door.

I figured since we were leaving in an hour I had another thirty minutes to sleep. I crawled back into bed.

"GET UP AND GO TAKE A SHOWER BELLA!" Sue shouted from downstairs and I jumped off the bed onto my suitcase. She's been doing that since I was a teenager and lived here. How she does I will never know.

Forty five minutes I was freshly showered and dressed in red chucks, jeans and white t-shirt with my NYU sweatshirt. I walked downstairs to the smell of eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Sue was sitting at the bar reading the newspaper and sipping on a cup of coffee. She looked up when she heard me approach pointed to the island where a plate of food was. I immediately dug in, suddenly staving.

"Your welcome." Sue murmured and smiled at me. She went back to her paper for the moment but I knew the questions would come shortly. I finished my breakfast and cleaned my mess. Sue went to go grab her purse and keys. We walked out to the garage to her car and left. "Yesterday" by Diddy Dirty Money was playing on radio. I loved this song, and as i sang to it I began to realized the lyrics sort of went with how i felt. A different siutation in a way, but it was right on with my emotions.

_Yesterday I fell in love_  
_ Today feels like my funeral_  
_ I just got hit by a bus_  
_ Should've been so beautiful_  
_ Don't know why I gave my heart, gave my trust, gave everything_  
_ You think that if I had the chance_  
_ To do it over again_  
_ I'd do something different_  
_ Make better decisions_  
_ Save me from my ignorance_  
_ But I keep_  
_ Making the same mistakes before I_  
_ I see the danger but I go forward_  
_ I'm sitting here trying to keep my composure_  
_ Knowing inside I'm broken and tore up_  
_ She got me gone I'm on her like a drug_  
_ I try to go but end up wanting more_  
_ Stuck in my head vivid as a picture_  
_ I wanna be clean but I can't get rid of her_

The only difference was that this wasnt a reacurrence. This had never happened. I hadn't made the same mistake over. But will I? Will I give him a second chance and risk him cheating again? I didnt have an answer to that yet, and it was killing me not knowing. My head was telling me I was stupid for even considering taking him back, yet the heart had a completely different viewpiont and told me everyone made mistakes. I didn't know what to do._  
_

We pulled up to the book store twenty minutes later. We hadn't spoke, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Sue pulled into the underground parking lot and got out. We walked to the elevator and got on. When we walked out I took a look at my surroundings getting a sense of melancholy in my stomach from not being here in so long. Even when I would visit I seemed to always be too busy to come here. And when I came with Jacob he didn't want to, he hated books. Dumb ass.

We walked down the hall the door that lead to the store and I saw that nothing had changed. It was still the same it had been since I was in high school. Cherry wood bookshelves filled with endless amount of books. High olive painted walls to the ceiling with windows at the top. It was cool because when sun decided to come out it looked like a church on Sunday morning. This place was my sanctuary in high school. I never left. If anyone ever wanted to find me this is where they'd come. I swear I read half the books in here in like three months. Tyler always used to tease me about loving books. We had some really good times here…

….

_I sitting in the back of the bookstore in my special space in a bean chair with a little reading lamp shining on my book, "The Raven" . I was reading it for fun. I was so into the book that I didn't hear him until he was right in my ear. I jumped out of bean bag and landed on my side. Hard. I was going to have a bruise._

"_Ow." I looked up and the corporate and glared at him. That made him laugh harder than he already was. _

"_I'm sorry babe, but I had to do something to get you out of that book. There would be a fire and you would die still reading." He helped me up._

_I crossed my arms across my chest and continued to glared at him, saying he could kiss my ass._

"_Aw babe! I didn't mean it. Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't think you would fall. Okay maybe I did anticipate it ,but...you should have seen you face." He stared to laugh again._

_I huffed, gave in and chuckled. He wasn't off the hook, I would get him back. But I didn't feel like being mad at him. I missed him too much. I hadn't seen him since school got out. I know three hours may seem like a short time, but it feels like forever when you're away from the one you love._

_He walked up to me and put his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck and stared into his blue eyes. "I'm sorry I scared you and you fell. I didn't mean for you to get hurt." He pouted his puppy dog pout and I huffed again._

"_Fine, you're forgiven. But I will get you back. Don't think that pout is getting you out of this." I said._

_He smirked. "Oh, I know. You wouldn't be you if you didn't." His lips met mine and he crushed my body to his. It was slow at first then progressed into our tongues fighting, my hands in his hair and his hands on my ass. I felt his hardness on my thigh and whimpered. _

_I pushed him away trying to catch my breathe and think straight. "We can't. Last time this happened my dad caught us and almost killed you with a book. Plus, I'm reading and I want to finish." My excuses were weak. My dad had caught us making out but that was because we were in the front of the store, behind the counter. He never comes back here._

_Tyler looked down and picked the book I was reading. I already knew what he was going to say._

"_Really Bella?" I said at the same time he did, mocking him. He continued his rant as if I hadn't spoken._

"_Seriously. You've read this book like twenty times. You read _every _book like twenty times. But "The Raven". Come on."_

"_Don't start that shit. If I want to read a book twenty times I'll red a book twenty times. And this is a classic." I murmured defensively._

"_I know, I know. I'm just pulling your leg. That's one of the reasons I love you. You love to read and defend what you think is right. Even though I swear you love books more than me." He chuckled._

_I gave him a look as if that might be true and began to back away. He pulled me back to him and began assaulting my neck. "Can a book do this?" He whispered and bite my neck. I whimpered at his soft caresses as his hand went south. My girly parts began to betray me._

"_Uhh…yess...iitt…" I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. His hand went into my jeans. He pressed hi palm into my swollen nub and I felt my muscles contract at the contact._ _He began to rubbed it and I moaned a little too loud_. _He covered my mouth with his to suppress my moans._

_He bent down to turn the lamp off and it became dark. The only light was the one coming from the beginning of the long isle. He walked us back until my back hit a wall blocked by a book shelf and out of the view of people. No one ever came down this isle anyway. It was dark and quiet. That's why I liked it._

_Tyler lifted my leg to his hip and slid one finger into me and began pumping my hot core. I bucked when he began to use three. His skilled fingers slid slowly in and out of my wetness and I pressed my hips to meet him every time. Our tongues battled and then he pulled away. _

"_Look at me Bella." he commanded. I open my eyes and to his deep blue eyes filled with lust._

"_Can a book make you feel this way? Huh Bella? Answer me." He said softly yet sternly._

_I blurted the only thing I could think of. "Fuck." He chuckled lightly._

"_That's what I thought." His tongue licked my bottom lip and I opened up to let him in._

_Oh, these magical fingers! So long and firm. Knowing just the spot to hit…_

"_Faster." I breathed against his lips, wanting more. He complied. _

_I could feel the heat in my stomach as my orgasm built. I cried out into Tyler's mouth when it hit. I came so hard it almost hurt. Tyler continued to kiss me and finger me as I rode out my orgasm. _

_He took his hand out of my jeans and buttoned them. I collapsed into his arms when he tried to let me go. He chuckled lick his hand clean of my juices. Just that act made me wet all over again. _

"_Now, could a book do that?" He smirked and licked the rest of me off of his hand knowing the answer. "Mmm… Deliciosa." He said. I shook my head in a trance._

_I pulled his face back to mine and tasted myself on his tongue. It was hot. I moved my hands to his jeans wanting to return the favor when we heard footsteps. _

_Tyler eyes went wide and I knew what he was thinking. The same thing I was. The __. But it all depended on who it was. _

"_Bella?" I heard Sue call from down the isle. My heart accelerated. We were caught. I looked at Tyler's face mirroring mine and we hurried to look as if what had just happened didn't. By the time she came into view, me and Tyler were sitting on the floor trying to look like nothing happened. I turned the light on and looked her._

"_Yes?" I asked when she was right in front of me._

_She stopped when she spotted Tyler. She looked back an forth at us. I could see she was putting together the pieces in her head. I wanted to hide under a rock. Not only were we caught, and in major trouble. This was totally embarrassing! What teenager wants their step mom to find them freshly fingered? _

_I ran my hands though my hair and waited for the lecture. I heard Tyler swallow as I bit my lip. Sue gave us a knowing look._

"_I wanted to tell you I'm closing so I can make dinner before your father gets home. So come on. We're leaving." I starred at her dumbfounded. I cleared my throat at a fail attempt to answer her because I couldn't find my voice. I was so shocked she hadn't said anything. I was sure we were burnt toast._

_I just nodded. She looked at us one more time before walking away. I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful. I knew she knew that Tyler and I weren't abstinent, but I don't think she wanted to walk in on us after…it. Sue was cool about our relationship, more than my dad, but she was still a parent. I had a feeling I was in for a talk._

_Tyler grabbed my hand and helped me up, looking as relived as I felt. He grabbed my back pack and shut the light off before taking my hand walking down the isle._

"_That was close. I was sure she was about to drill us." Tyler whispered. I laughed._

"_You're not the only one." I said and we made our way to his car._

….

Yeah. Tyler and I had some good times in this book store. This is where a lot of my first times happened. Senior year was one of the best years of my life. As predicted, I did get a talk that night from Sue about being more discreet. Sue never told my dad either. That was one of the other things just between us. Sue walked to her office and some of the employees went around getting the store ready to open. I set down at one of the tables by the front counter and took out my phone. Sue would get me when she was ready.

I took out my crackberry and turned it on, I was surprised it wasn't dead. Damn, I had so many missed everything. Shall we go down the list:

1. I had three missed calls and two texts from Alice. Five missed calls and one text from Jasper. I'd text them later, let them know I made it safe.

2. Five From Rose. Ooo, I was in deep shit. If she knew I was in town and hadn't contacted her about it she was going to murder me. Even though I talked to her damn near daily, she would also kill me for having my phone off. I bet she'd contacted everyone she knew to find me. Yeah, I'll definitely talk to her later, because she'll be calling me, or just show up out of thin air.

3. One missed call from Esme. I'd call her tomorrow. I already told Alice to call her, but I guess she's worried.

-None from Edward, which wasn't so unusual, but I guess he would want to know why I'd been crying my eyes out all over his Gucci. Whatever though, I'd see him soon enough.

4. Forty missed calls, twelve missed text, and six voice mails from the douche bag. I deleted all those right away. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet.

We _are _adults and need to communicate and figure something's out, but I wasn't ready. And due to the talk to my dad and all this thinking I've been doing, I'm not sure what I want. But I know I need some time to myself to figure out what _I _need. Do I want to stay and work things out? Do I want to let four years of friend ship go down the drain?

Right about now I didn't really have an answer for shit. All I knew was that I still loved him and didn't want to lose what we had, whatever that was, but at the same time I didn't want to be someone I'm not. My broken heart was aching and it made my brain not very logical at the moment. Maybe Sue could help me. She's good at giving advice. Maybe she could look out of the box and give me some insight of what she thinks, unbiased.

A tap on my shoulder broke me out of my thoughts. Looked up and Sue motioned for me to follow her to her office. I took a deep breath and followed her down the hall behind the counter to a big wooden door with a golden plate that read_ Sue Carrie Swan, Owner/ Executive Manger._ She opened the door and I sat down in one of the wooden chairs in front of her desk.

She had a picture of Mackenzie when she was born, one of Seth at like, seven hugging our late dog Leah, one of her and Dad on their wedding day, and one of me on my graduation day from NYU.

"Okay sweetie, what's up? Talk to me." Her eyes bore in to mine in a pleading way and I took another deep breath.

It's not like I had any problem with talking to Sue about my personal life, far from it. Some girls might have a problem with talking to their step moms about that kind of stuff but I never did. I could always talk to mine about just anything and everything and she would never judge me. And she'd always tell me the truth in whatever way she could, no questions asked. No beating behind the bush either, straightforward and to the point. And the best part was it was always between us, that is unless it was illegal and she couldn't take care of it herself, but it never went that far.

She was the one I told about my first kiss and first time before any of my friends knew. She was the one to tell me about the birds and the bees, and how to use a condom and took me to the clinic to get birth control. That might seem kind of strange but that just how comfortable I feel talking to her about personal things that I would never dream of telling Renee. I spill my guts and she always to supports me. Not that my mom isn't supportive or caring, but Renee's always been more of her own person. She's more conservative too. If I had ever asked her about sex she'd probably sent me to military school. My dad's the same way but not as bad as her. Sue has softened him up over the years.

So I told Sue everything. And I mean everything. From how I caught Jacob to my talk with Charlie. She just listened quietly while I poured all my problems out on the table. I don't know how long we sat there, me blabbing and her listening. But by the end of my very long rant I felt lighter than I had from even after talking to my dad. I took a breath, slumped in my chair and grinned at Sue. She had her hands tucked under her chin and a thoughtful smile on her face.

"Better?" She asked. That's like her famous question at the end of all of our talks. I chuckled and nodded. At some point of me telling Sue the story tears came and Sue handed me a box of tissue.

"So, what do you think I should do?" I inquired in a pleading way.

She leaned back in her chair and stared at me, forming her response. "I think that's up to you." She finally said. My eyes bulged out of my head.

"What? Come on Sue, you've got to have something better than that. I mean, I have no idea what to do. I-I…" I stopped, lost for words. She came around her desk and knelt down in front of me and put my hands in hers.

"What do you feel Bella?" She asked. I shook my head trying to form a response to her question. It was hard to put into words. I knew how I feel yet I didn't. I was just so confused.

"I feel…I'm hurt, but I still love him. I just…I don't think I want to be with him anymore. I don't really feel I'm in love with him anymore. I don't know. Renee installed some strong values in me about cheating man." I laughed darkly once and continued. "I don't want to lose my friend. I want to go back to the way we used to be before we got stuck. Lost in a pattern of bullshit. But I don't think I can be friends with him again let alone lovers. I know everyone makes mistakes and deserve second chances but…I'm confused. I don't know what to do. My heart hurts too much." I put my head down and fight back tears. I've never cried this much in my life

"We'll, that's something I can't decide for you honey. You have to go with your heart. And if your heart says work things out, then follow it. If your head says don't think about it some more. If they both say let go then let go. But I can't decide any of that for you, only you can. Now I wasn't really fond of Jacob but I could see that you loved him, but I couldn't tell you not to be with him. You're eventually going to do what you want no matter what anyone says. That's the kind of person you are." She stood up, let go of my hand and leaned against the desk in front of me. She stared at me intently, calculating.

I sobbed. "Will I ever find real love though?…I don't know. I don't know anything right now. Its like everything I've known for the last two years is just thrown out the window. Maybe love is not for me..' I mumbled, looking down at my tissue clad hands.

"Oh no Bells. Don't look at it that way. Life just hands us bad hands sometimes. All we can do is take them and deal."

She was right, just like everyone else had said.. Life's just not fair. I need to stop moping and move on. "Your right Sue. I think I'm going to be okay." I said with a slight smile.

"Damn straight you are. I want my Bell-dozer back. No more abandoning us or Renee. Ever do that again I will come to New York and whip some sense into your ass." I giggled and stood to hug her.

"I love you Sue bear." I said stating her old nick-name I gave her when I was ten.

"Oh, I love you too Bell-dozer. You are a beautiful woman who has to live her own life. Right now you're stuck between your heart and you're head and that can be really confusing, but you'll get there. I promise." We hugged for a little while longer and pulled back. "Come on. The store should be open now. I've got some inventory to check on in the storage room to make sure Kyle has got it right. He can be such a knuckle head some times." She grumbled.

"That's what you get for hiring teenagers. I was the best one you'll ever have." I said walking to the door with her. We walked out and down the hall to the storage room.

"Right. And I suppose getting felt up in the back isle should have gotten you a raise?" She raised a eyebrow slyly and smirked. No she did not just go there! I blushed, but didn't back down or cower away. Teen Bella would have been running across the street by now, but I am a grown woman and I don't cower. I stood my ground with my head held high.

"And?" I walked past her with my head high.

"Touché." She laughed.

The rest of the day was spent laid back. I helped stock some books, chatted with Sue, and tried to forget about my life back in New York. What I really wanted to do was dump all that shit and come back to Seattle, but a voice in the back of my head kept calling me a coward for wanting to run away. Can you blame me?

Around three o'clock when I was munching on a Milky Way (the caramel goodness), reading the latest _People,_ when Seth, Mackenzie, and Sarah walked in. The little curly-browned haired girl damn near knocked me out of my seat.

"Bellmo!" She shouted her nick name for me and squeezed my neck. If you haven't noticed, my families big on nick names. I laughed and tried to maneuver her from my neck.

"Hey Mac!" She sat on my lap an dropped her back pack on the floor.

"Bella, when'd you get here? I didn't know you were coming home." She looked at me speculatively.

"Yeah, I didn't know either. But I really wanted to come see you guys. I missed you to death." I wasn't about to tell my ten year old sister what really happened, who does that?

"We missed you too! I have so much to tell you." Then she launched into a story about her crush at school and all her friends.

She told me about Justin Bieber and how Seth promised to take her to one of his concerts for her birthday. I really only heard bits and pieces, she talked so fast. I put in the occasional "ohs" and "ahhs" and tried to listen to her. It was kind of nice to hear something so insignificant and innocent after the shit I have to deal with. I wished Mackenzie would never lost her innocent obliviousness to the world and had to deal with the pain it offered. But it seems to be inevitable. Sue came and pried Mac from my lap telling her it was time for her snack and then piano lessons. I promised her I would see her at home and hugged her again. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed my family. They loved me so much and I was so stupid! Oh well, I can't dwell on the past, just have to work on the future. That was my new ma-do.

I went off to see where Seth an Sarah had snuck off to. I had a defying feeling I knew exactly where they were. I followed the familiar trail down to the last isle and found exactly what I'd expected. Sue had the little corner were you couldn't see anyone filled with a book shelf a couple years back so there wasn't really anywhere to hide. Seth was groping Sarah in what looked harmful way, their mouths were glued together against the back wall. By this time Tyler and I would have been damn near done, its been over ten minutes. They hadn't even gotten to second base yet. I decided to stop being perverted and made my presence known. I did the old fashion clear throat thing. Nothing. I did it louder. Still nothing. Okay. Guess I was going to have to bring out the big guns.

"So…" They both jumped apart at the sound of my voice as if they'd been electrocuted. It was funny. "Did you want an audience while you guys commit under age intercourse, or should I come back?' I asked nonchalantly. They were both trying to straighten their clothes, red as tomatoes.

Seth swallowed. "Uh, no. We were just coming to get you…we just.." I put my hand up.

"You don't have to explain. I'm not mom. I was young and in love once. I know how it is. But I do have one suggestion, get a new spot. I was using this one when I was your age." I laughed. Sarah, who had seemed like a statue had loosened up some. She walked over and hugged me. I was shocked, but then I understood and hugged her back.

"Thank you." She said pulling back.

"Don't worry about it. I was daddy's little girl too once. I get it. I just hope you guys are being safe," I said with a slightly amused slightly serious face. Seth groaned.

"I knew you wouldn't let it go with saying something to embarrass me." I ruffled his hair.

"Oh, shut up lil bro. Now, didn't you say were taking me somewhere?" I glanced between them.

They looked a little sheepish. Seth took my arm and lead me down the hall to the front with Sarah following on my other side… "Sorry sis, plans kind of changed. Your chaperon couldn't make it."

"But here's his number." Sarah gave me a piece of paper with an foreign number and a area code I've never seen. "Who is it?"

Seth smiled broadly. "Tyler."

I stopped in my tracks and gaped at them like a fish out of water. "What?"

Sarah answered. "My brother. You know, tall, blonde,-" I cut her off.

"I know who Tyler is. But why are you giving me his number?" I asked shocked and confused.

"He asked us to as soon as I mentioned you were in town. He was going to be on leave for a week but something came up at the last minute. When Seth told me you were here today I called and told him, thinking he was going to be here. He wanted you to know he was looking forward to reuniting with you. He'll be here around July. You guys are never here at the same time. How long has it been now?" Sarah asked curiously.

I shake my head trying to remember. "Four years I think? Man, it would have been nice to see him…" I said, my mind wandering back to the past.

Tyler and Sarah had moved here one summer I was here with Sue and Charlie. I was fifteen and Seth was eight. We hit it off like that. He was sweet and kind. Liked to play sports and have dinner with his family. I was your typical tom boy who liked to climb trees and wrestle, with an equilibrium problem. I don't know what he saw in me but for some reason he wanted to be my friend. We hung out all summer. The inseparable pair.

When I had to leave and go back to my mom in Phoenix we promised we would write everyday and we did. When I came back for the holidays we were the same best friends who liked to play football and watch cartoons. The next summer was the best of my life. Tyler asked me to be his girlfriend, of course I said yes. That was also the summer I didn't go back to Phoenix and Jasper went to college. That whole year was awesome. Being in love for the first time felt like cloud nine. We hardly ever fought, except over what we were going to do the next year.

I'd always wanted to go to college and study law. That was my dream. I really didn't care where I went as long as I went with Tyler, and so we settled on NYU. One night, two weeks before graduation, Tyler came to my house to tell me he was going to join the military, and I was livid. I didn't talk to him for two days. Sue finally set me straight and told me if it was what he wanted to do, then I needed to support him. That this was just as hard on him as it was for me. So for the next two weeks all we did was spend time with each other as much as we could. On the night the bus came to get him I was set to fly out to New York. We had a mutual breakup and promised to stay friends. It hurt like hell but I knew it was for the best. Four years later he turned up at my college graduation and it was the best gift of my life. At that time he was stationed in Germany and had to get back. We hugged goodbye and I haven't seen him since.

When I compare that heartache to this one it doesn't compare. That was first love and a mutual breakup. I was young and didn't really need to be in a serious relationship anyway. You never forget your first love, but I don't love Tyler like that anymore. He will always hold a special place in my heart but not in that way. But if there's on thing I have learned in my experience of all this love shit is that it is better to have loved than to have not loved at all. At least I can say I've been in love twice, that's more than most. I'm not going to let this little bump stop me though. I will move on and be me. I'm strong like that. Someone once told me that forgiveness was partially a selfish act and it is one of few selfish acts society allows. I'm a forgiving person.

So I'm not going to hate Jacob. I wasn't going to be bitter towards the male species, because I might pass up a good thing like some women do. I don't hold grudges. When you hold grudges you can't receive your blessings. The grudge blocks it. I learned my lesson a long time ago. I'm not saying I forgive him yet, and I don't know if I want to try and work it out. But I'm not going to let his screw up ruin my chance at true happiness. True love. Another thing life has taught me it is to never give up and always have hope. There's always someone out there worse off than you.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Seth's hand waving in my face. "Earth to Bella! Hello!"

"Huh?"

"Do want to still go to the mall with us or go home?" He asked looking at me strangely.

"Um, yeah. Can you take me home? I have some calls to make."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You better not be calling Ja-"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Shut up and take me home. I can talk to whoever the hell I want." He stared me down for a minute before conceding and walking out front to the car with Sarah.

"Bye Sue!" I shouted and grabbed my sweater.

"Bye sweetie, see you at home!" She shouted from the staff lounge.

"Bye Bella!" Mackenzie yelled.

"See ya Mac!"

On the car ride home I caught up with Sarah. She told me about school, her and Seth's friend, and Tyler. I was really impressed with Tyler. I found out that he was engaged to a really nice women and had a baby on the way. I was genuinely happy for him, though I couldn't help thinking that could have been me. Sarah urged me to call him as soon as I could and I promised her I would when I got the chance. I waved them good bye and walked in the house.

The phone rang as soon as I stepped foot in the door and I ran to the kitchen to get it.

"Hello" I said breathlessly.

"Bitch!" The voice yelled. My heart stopped. I'm dead. I knew she knew.

"Shit."

"Shit is right! Why the fuck do I have to hear from _Maggie _at the police station that your white ass was in town? Why the fuck have you not been answering your got damn phone? Why the fuck aren't you answering me?" I would've laughed at her angry tone if it didn't scare the bejebees out of me.

"Hello Rose. How are you?" I asked innocently trying to ease some of the tension. Why not try and start this convo off at a good start?

"Bella-" She stopped and I could picture her in her office rubbing her temples trying to control her temper like her therapist had taught her. She took deep breaths before she spoke. "Isabella Marie fucking Swan, how do you explain yourself?" She spoke calmer, but I could tell she was still royally pissed.

"I plead the 5th?" I squeaked. Rose did not find it funny.

"Cut the bullshit Bella." Rose was also a no bull shit person. So I huffed and told her the story. I was really getting tired of repeating myself. I mean, how many time have I told this story, for real?

When I finished Rose was silent for a few minutes before she spoke."Told you so." I laughed. Rose is not one for holding back. She tells it how it is.

Me and Rose, Rosalie Hale the second, have been friends for almost twenty years now. When my mom left my dad and took me with her to Phoenix, we moved in with my grandma Marie until my mom finished her law degree. After two years my mom graduated and become an attorney for athletes. She began dating Phil Dwyer, big baseball player, and the rest is as they say, history. But Phil is awesome, I always get the best seats to any baseball game.

After a year they got married and we moved to the wealthy part of Phoenix when I was about nine. Next door lived the famous Hales of Hale Motors. At first Rose and I didn't get along. I thought she was snobby and stuck up and I didn't like her attitude. She'd told me later she felt I was lowly and beneath her so I couldn't have been to far off. I can't really remember when or how we got to be friends but we did and have been since. We were more like sisters growing up than friends. Rose was the only child and I never had a sister so that's what we became to each other. I'm the only one who can call her anything other than Rosalie or Rose without getting fucked up. We know everything and anything there is it know about each other. We think the same and have the same values. We are the same in so many ways but yet so different.

We practically lived at each other's houses growing up. Whenever times got hard at either of our houses we would go to the others stay as long as we wanted. Our houses were so big that we could be there a week before anyone noticed one of us were there. Rose was over my house the most. She didn't really get along with her parents. Her dad wished she were a boy and her mom wanted her to do pageants because of her beauty. I never really liked her parents either, there were snobs who had sticks permanently stuck up their asses to me. They weren't to fond of me either, due to my mouth telling them off from time to time. We went off to college together and roomed with Alice that became the missing piece to our group. We haven't been as close as we once were due to me being in New York and her here in Seattle. When she graduated her grandfather left the company to her, so now she's the CEO and owner of one of the worlds biggest motor corporations. How she finds the time to verbally harass me blows my fucking mind, but hey, its Rosalie Hale.

"Gee, thanks Rose. It's so nice to hear your fucking concern." I said sarcastically.

"Oh, don't go getting all butt hurt. I _told_ you he was shit when you first stared dating him, but you didn't listen, you never listen with that hard ass head of yours. Hell, I told you he was shit when you guys were just friends. But nooo, you were all 'you don't know him like I do'. Looks like I actually knew him better than you thought you did, huh? Guess next time you'll listen to reason."

I didn't say anything. There was a long pause. I knew she was right, but I still got pissed. Bitch basically called me stupid. My anger came then faded in almost the same instant. I didn't have anything to back up my anger, so I shook it off. I sighed and opened my mouth to speak but Rose spoke first.

"Look. I'm not calling you stupid." I swear we could read each others minds. That happened all the time. "I'm just saying you've got a hard head. Now, how are you?" I rolled my eyes. Bipolar much?

I took a minute to gather my thoughts before answering her, really thinking about my answer. "I'm okay I guess. This happened on Wednesday and its Friday so as good as I can be in two days. I'm going back Sunday night so I still have a couple days. I found that I had needed to work some things out here before I even knew it myself. And before you ask, I haven't made a decision yet."

"What? What do you mean 'made a decision?' You can't really be considering taking back that asswipe. Are you dense?" I rolled my eyes again. This is what I meant by the experience thing. See, Rose has never really been in love. She's more of the hit and quit it type of girl. I think she's just scared to commit but she just brushes me off and changes the subject whenever I bring it up.

"I said I don't know. I'm confused. I need more time to figure things out. Two days is not enough time for me to figure something like this out." She mumbled something that I couldn't make out and changed the subject.

"So on to happier topics. You're going out with me tomorrow. I haven't seen you in a year and I miss my sister. Plus, since you're so heartbroken, you need a night out." I groaned. Rosalie's night on a town always end with me in some foreign place with a hangover the size of her moms feet. And those are _huge! _But there was no way of getting out of it, I knew that. But I had to try.

"But…"

"No buts! Be ready at ten thirty tomorrow morning. We're going to the spa and I have an appointment that I just made so don't be your usual late self. Now, hang up and go to sleep. You sound like shit B. But that will all be changed in due time. And I have good news to balance your bad, now hang up." How in the hell does she expect me to hang up when she says something like that? The nerve of some people.

"What's the news?" I asked, the curiosity killing me. I had a feeling it was a feeble attempt though.

"Hang-up!"

"Ugh!" I slammed the phone down on the receiver, frustrated.

She always does that. Who the fuck does that? I huffed, took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen to make me something to eat. When I finished I walked to my room to make my calls and crashed.

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**A/N: HELLO! Yea, its me again, but i only have one thing to say...it begins with a R, ends with a W...you know, come on, you got it...Reee...vvii...REVIEW! Its REVIEW people, SMH goodness...but anyhoos, please do it. (hehe thats what she said lmao)**

**ONE LOVE:)  
**


	6. Up Out my Face

_**Chapter 6: Up Out My Face**_

**A/N: So here you are. The missing chapter to Bella's time in Seattle. Hope you like. Oh yeah, I have a surprise at the end.  
**

**Story time…so, I just want you guys to know that I have a very diverse range of music. I don't like just one genre, I go everywhere. That goes for G2 too but she's not as open-mined as me. My mo-do is "if I likey, me listen…y." So yeah, you're going to see a lot of different types of musica from many different artists because I don't like just one thing. I don't really like indie or metal, but don't let that discourage you from the story. So yea, there it is. On to better things…**

**Disclaimer: It isn't mine. But ain't shit I can do about it. Fuck my life.**

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BPOV

"Fuck no. Why the hell would I go through that torture again? You do what you want with yours. But I am not making mine face that shit again." What the fuck could she be thinking? That I'd do it? Is she crazy?

She must be out her mind to think I'm going to subject my va-jay-jay to another murderous Brazilian wax in _this _lifetime. I don't know if its all that exhaust she's been breathing or what, but if she forgot about the last time, she's high off her ass.

It was our senior year in college and she and Alice dragged me to a spa for a girls day. I decided to try a wax, and man did it end fucked. I was red and bumpy in the place where it should never be red and bumpy. I was sore for days. I was sacred shitless that I would never be able to have sex again, so I eventually went to the doctor and got it checked out despite my hate for hospitals. They said my skin was too sensitive to the wax that was used and I had an allergic reaction to it. I had to get antibiotics and everything. I couldn't even fuck for like, a month. It hurt like _hell. _I blamed it all on them for months and swore I would never get one again. I would stick to the safe old razor blade.

"Bella, that was five years ago. This is not the same place or the same wax-."

"No. Not gonna happen." Just then a spa lady came up to us to get our packages for the day. Rose huffed and told her what we wanted. I was getting the Sparkle package : a mani-pedi, mud bath, massage, and my hair done. Rose was getting the same plus the wax. Crazy bitch.

After Rose stomped in my dad's house thirty minutes early and literally dragged me out of bed, rushed me to bathe, and threw me in the car, we got to the spa around eleven and had been arguing about the wax for ten minutes. Right now I was getting my heavenly massage by this German man who looked like he could be a model. He had the hands of a angel and knew just where to put pressure and where to be feather light. I was going to have to leave him a very nice tip. By the sounds Rose was making next to me it sounded as if she was going to give her masseuse more than just a tip. After our mud baths and her wax, we went to get our mani-pedis and hair done together.

"So. What is this good news you've had me wait all day for?" I asked as the manicurist filed my nails.

Rose turned to me from her spa chair and grinned. "I had to wait till you were fully relaxed so you would appreciate it. Okay, so do you want the small good news or the big good news?"

"Get to the point." She laughed at the annoyance in my voice.

"Okay fine. It's just fun annoying you." I was like three seconds from slapping her. But she got to the point.

"I guess I'll give you the small. I fired Jacob." My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. No. She didn't.

"What? Why?" I didn't want that. I didn't want to be the cause of Jacob losing his job. That's not me. I wouldn't wish that worst on my worst enemy, and never Jacob, especially with the way the economy is. I know we're not on the same page right now and he basically fucked me over, but that's not fair. I already beat his ass for what he did, and I'm ninety-nine percent sure I was going to break up with him, so I kind of think that's enough.

"You're not happy? I swear, you are so ass backwards sometimes." She said exasperated, looking at me like I was crazy. "First you're thinking about getting back with the dufus, now you want him to keep his job? I swear, you like the only girlfriend who wouldn't want this to happened to their ex-boyfriend who _cheated_ on them. In your bed! Your house! What the hell B?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "You can be so frustrating sometimes." We said at the same time and then busted into a fit of giggles, causing our cosmeticians to give us looks.

"Look Rose, I don't want to be the cause of that. If he gets fired I want it to be because of him, not me." She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off. "It is about me if you're firing him because of what he did to me, and not his work, and don't say its not. Plus, it's illegal and I'll be forced to report your ass."

She chuckled. "I know B, and don't worry, because it's not like he's jobless. I recommended him to my friend who owns a small garage in New York and he'll be calling him on Friday. I just never liked him. I only hired him because he was your boyfriend and could fix a car like nobody's business. But I can't have him working for me and me giving him a paycheck after I know what he did to you, my sister. I can't have that on my heart. And if you report me I'll tell about that time in college where you stole your mid-term out of the test room and changed some of the answers so you would pass the class." She smirked.

I gaped a her. That was never to be spoken of again. "It was your idea to steal it _and _your fault I would have failed! You're the one who said "lets go party" the night before mid-terms."

"And if I said jump off a cliff would you do it?" She raised her perfectly arched eyebrow.

"Fuck off Rose." She giggled.

"So now on to the big news…drum roll please." I improvised a fake drum roll.

"I'm moving to New York." My eyes widened and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

"For real?"

"For real, for real."

"Ah! OMG, are you fucking kidding me? This is fucking awesome! How? Why? When?" She laughed at my antics.

"Calm down B, goodness. You can be such a drama queen sometimes." She faked examined her nails trying to seem nonchalant about it but the small lift of her lips gave her away.

"Don't pretend that you're not fucking ecstatic. Just answer my questions." I played fake annoyance. She turned towards me and grinned.

"Okay, so last week I had a meeting with the board of dicks," that's what Rose calls her board of executives that help run Corp. That's what they all have and all _are_. But Rose is a strong woman so she can handle her own. "we were discussing new locations to open a new office. That's when it came to me. 'We don't have an office in New York.' So I ran it over with the board and they loved it. Of course if they didn't I would do it anyway, its my company. So anyway, we did all the paper work and talked with some real-estate agents and guess what?" she was beaming and biting her lip.

"Chicken butt."

"The office is in your office building!" We both screamed like a pair of thirteen year old girls. We didn't care though, we were too damn happy.

"So I just have a few more loose ends to deal with here in Seattle. But I should be there by the middle of next week."

"Oh shit Rose. This is so amazing. I finally get my other sister back. So where you moving?"

"Well, I haven't quite decided yet-" she stopped and starred at my face. I was fabricating an idea and she knew it.

"I can hear the wheels Swan, what's going on in that head of yours?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

I moved my eyes to the ground from her tense gaze. "Well…I was just wondering, how would you like to move in with me?" I looked up hopeful. Her smile went ear to ear.

"I'd love that. But what about-"

"Don't worry about him. I don't think he's going to be around anymore." I said sadly, but I was still so happy about Rose's news, its like it filled some of the little hole that had been created. Life was going to be better and now I would have Rose there to help. She pulled me into a hug causing the manicurist to give us frustrated looks, probably hoping we wouldn't mess up our nails.

"This is going to be just like college, minus Tonto." I laughed even though I never found humor in her nick name for Jacob. I'm not racist, and neither was she. She just liked to piss him off to no end. But I quit trying to make sense of my emotions three days ago, so I laughed.

"I sure hope so."

We finished at the spa and Rose paid, ignoring my protest, saying that I already paid her by having fun and smiling. I loved the whore a little bit more. She was a great friend.

It was around three when we left to go to lunch. Afterwards we went shopping. She said I needed it. _That_ was something her and Alice had in common. They said it was called "shopping therapy." Like having your feet hurt and waiting in long ass lines was therapeutic. I rather watch Animal Planet with Jasper. And I hated that.

I got a couple outfits for work and some purple Vans. My favorite shoe brand. Rose also forced me to buy something to wear for tonight. I didn't know where we were going and she wouldn't tell me. I hated being the one in the blue. And she knew that. I swear one day I'm going to strangle her with her own golden locks.

We got to her place around nine to get ready. Her place was huge. It was so her. Two story condo over looking Seattle. That's all I'm saying because I hate elaborating on stupid shit like what someone house looked like. No offense, but there's more important things to talk about. Use your imagination.

"Bella! Come on, lets get this show on the road!" Rose called form the living room. I was putting the finishing touches of make up on. I don't wear much, just some mascara, eyeliner, maybe some eye shadow and a dab of lip gloss. I went for the smokey eye tonight cause it accented my outfit.

I stood in front of the full body mirror in Rose's bedroom and appraised myself. I looked damn good. Post-breakup-I'm-single-again-and-im-about-to-get-drunk-as-fuck good. I wore tight black skinny jean, with a pink and black plaid button up that stopped at the top of my cleavage, thanks to the push-up bra. Rose talked me into her new Jimmy Choo black pumps, not that I complained. The whole outfit highlighted my curves. And I smiled a little that my confidence had not been diminished. It took me years to get over my childish insecurities and I'd be damned if this breakup would make me doubt myself _at all_. I had admit, that over my time with him, some had come back. But I was stronger now. I am a independent woman who doesn't need a man for shit.

"Girl, are you seriously ogling at your self like you're the hottest thing since sliced bread?" I jumped a little. Rose stood leaning at the door frame, a small smile playing on her lips in a white mini and red hooker heels looking like a goddess. I used to envy how beautiful she was so effortlessly, but like I said, I got over it. I'm perfectly content with being me. She is beautiful in her own way, and so am I.

"No" I lied. "lets go." I brushed pasted her and grabbed my leather coat and purse.

"Yeah yeah Swan. But you do look hot. Being cheated on really suits you." I flipped her off and walked out the door. Her melodic laugh carried down the hall.

"So, what club are we going to that you haven't graced already." I asked after a few minutes of silence her car. It was a (put car name here). She loved this thing.

"This club called Contour. A recent client of mine recommended it and it sounded good. I thought we might check it out." she shrugged, on hand on the wheel, starring through the windshield into the dark night.

I nodded to myself. "Sounds good. Just do me one favor?" I pleaded.

"What?"

"Don't get so drunk you wont be able to remember your own name. That's my job tonight."

"I can't make any promises." she grinned.

We arrived at Contour and I had to show my ID. I don't trip about it anymore, that just means I have good genes and won't look 50 when I'm 50. The music was blasting and the dance floor was packed. Rose and I made our way to the bar and ordered a round of shots. The bartender was hot, but he kept eye fucking Rose and it was a bit creepy, or at least I think he was looking at her.

"Why is the bartender eye fucking you?" she whispered in my ear while he made our drinks. I looked at her.

"No, he was eye fucking you." I told her. She rolled her eyes.

"Pssh, Bella. I know when someone is looking at me, and he definitely wasn't looking at me. Watch when he comes back. I'm going to go find a table." and she was gone. The bartender came back with the drinks and I smiled at him and tried to pay but he held his hand up.

"It's on the house. I'm James." Fuck Rose and her always being right. He held out his hand and I shook it. I had a feeling there was a catch, there's always a catch. Especially with men. Nothings free in life.

"I'm Bella. And that's really not necessary. I can pay." he shook his head softly.

"There's no need, I own the place." he said it slightly cockily, like that was going to impress me. I held back a giggle. That shit didn't do anything for me. I've dated a fucking mechanic.

"Well, thank you, James. That's very nice of you. I should go find my friend, have a nice night." I turned to walk away when his hand touched my shoulder.

"I was wondering…" Ah, there it is. I smirked. "would you like to dance with me?"

"Aren't you busy?" I looked down the bar and there was so many people trying to get drinks and I didn't think it would end. There were only two other bartenders.

"They can handle it, plus, I pay them." he gave me a sly smile. I pursed my lips and looked him up and down. His dirty blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail make him look kind of dangerous. He had pretty defined muscles staining against the white t-shirt he was wearing. I couldn't really see his bottom half but it didn't seem so bad from here. He looked like just what I needed. I looked back up to his face and he looked a little uneasy at my ogling. I bit back a smile. I love to make 'em squirm.

"Okay. You can find me. If you want it that bad." I turned on my heel and walked away.

"I love a challenge!" he called.

"I'm sure you do." I said to myself and made my way though the crowd. I still got game.

"Hey!" Rose shouted to me over the music when I made it to the table. "So, what took you so long?" she asked and took a shot the same time as I did. Ah, I loved the feel of vodka going down. She quirked a eyebrow waiting for me to continue. "The bartender." she smiled knowingly, answering her own question. I rolled my eyes. "Told you. Come on, lets dance. This is my shit!" she dragged me out to the dance floor.

_Jason Derulo: Solo_

"I dedicate this to you." Rose yelled to me, dancing to the beat. I shrugged and continued to dance. My life was what it was, I would just take it one step at a time and see what happens. After a few songs I went back to the table to finish off my shots. Rose was busy grinding against so dude who looked plenty happy.

"Found you." a voice said right behind me. I jumped. James was so close I felt his breath on my neck. It was a little uncomfortable. I wasn't used to random guys being so close. It's been a long time, let me tell you.

"Told you I like I challenge. But you weren't to hard to find." He whispered in my ear. He was taller than I thought, so I had to look up. His eyes were beautiful, like four different types of brown mixed green. They were mesmorising.

"You have gorgeous eyes." my voice was trance-like as I starred into them. He smiled politely at me and I uncovered something else, he had dimples!

"Thanks. So how about that dance?" I bit my lip, hoping to look flirtatious, and nodded. No problem mister "I have hypnotizing eyes and dimples" guy.

He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. It was a little strange to go and dance with another man when I was still so freshly broken. I wasn't used to the club scene anymore, I actually felt kind of old. All because of the dumb ass motherfucker who couldn't keep it in his pants. It pissed me off.

_Forget that now. Your single, remember? Rock his world all up and down this club. Wrap him around your finger and leave him wanting more. You got this. Turn that anger into sex appeal and bring out your inner vixen._ A little voice told me.

Right. Besides, it's just a dance. And it hasn't been that long since I've been single. I would still have them eating out the pond of my hand, just like college. We made it to the dance floor and James grabbed my hips and brought me to his body. I gasped. He smirked and began to move us to the beat. He felt so good. So strong and rough. I'm embarrassed to admit, but Jacob hasn't touched me in a while, probably because he was getting it somewhere else. My body craved male attention. Every little touch of Jame's hand was making me hot, that's how bad I was. Sad, I know. But fuck it. If I'm going to have fun and let loose I might as well have the upper hand, right?

I turned around and looked into his eyes while biting my lip, that shit drives guys crazy, as my hands went south. His eyes were filled with lust and slight incredulous. When I got to his belt I turned around and ground my ass into his hard-on. My hands traveled to his ass and pulled him closer as we swayed to the music. My hands moved upward to his hair and his hands caressed my stomach. He hissed when I pulled his hair. I gigged.

"You're good." he purred huskily in my ear. I grinned and turned my head to looked at him, our lips inches apart.

I slide down his body and got up with my ass poked out his crouch and snapped my back to his chest. He stared at me in awe. "I know." This was fun.

We danced to a couple more songs till he had to go back to the bar. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He also wanted to know if I could stay after the club was closed so he could "get to know me better." Yeah right, it was obvious he wanted way more than I was willing to offer. Men. But I politely declined and left to find Rose. She was at the table looking more than a little tipsy. I laughed as she swayed bumping in to people. I grabbed her elbow as she almost tripped over the girl walking by. The girl glared but kept walking.

"Rose, you drunk as fuck. I told you that was my job to night." she attempted to give a dirty look but it just looked funny. I chuckled and I took a long swig of my tequila. I was not going to be the sober one tonight. We could call a cab. Rose went to go dance with some more guys while I drank my weight in Jack and tequila. I admit, it was not a good mix, but I'm not a lightweight so it would be awhile before I started to feel it. That was my point anyways, I wanted to feel it.

By the time some tall red headed lady was headed towards our table with a tray of drinks, I had just finished off my last shot, I was already caught up with Rose. I had danced with her some more and was having the time of my life, drunk and all. Rose had left me and I was off to find her when the red head set the eight shots down along with handing me a piece of paper. I was about to tell her we hadn't order anything when she cut me off.

"Courtesy of the owner." she spat with a nasally voice. I would have told her the fuck off if she hadn't disappeared into the crowd like a bat out of hell. Bitch.

"Ohh, look Bellya! More magic liquid, drink up!" Rose's words were slurred as she came back and I wondered how she made it back to the table at all. She downed the shots like water. I drank mine and my head felt lighter and my blood warmer at the feel of it going down. It's been a while since I've drank this much, but who do I have to answer to? I do what the fuck I want. When I'm drunk I tend to not give a shit, and sometimes that can end either bad or good, depending on the situation. But my head was too fuzzy to fully consider that though any longer, so I read the note.

_Here's my number. Thought you might want it._

_543-7865 _

_James_

Ha! Yeah. We'll see 'bout that.

After finishing off the drinks not caring what they were I checked my phone for the time. Oh yeah, I didn't bring it. I left it in my purse, which was in the car. Fuck. By this time I was stumbling and couldn't really see straight. I just knew we had to leave. With Rose this is how it goes, we drink till we're fucked up drunk, then _I_ end up having to get us out of the place before we end up in some dude's bed or jail. It's happened more times than I can think before I dated Jacob. Alice wasn't very much help, she was a worse drunk than Rose.

I turned to Rose to get her phone. She was falling over a guy trying to get him to dance with her. I couldn't really hear what he was saying to her due to the buzz in my head, bt he walked off. I was beginning to feel a little woozy. I shook my head to shake it off. Bad. Idea. What did I want again? Something about a truck. Oh yeah!

"Rose, where's your phone?" her head was on the table and she looked like she was going to pass out any minute. Or puke. She mumbled something incoherent, or maybe I was just to drunk to comprehend. I was really starting to feel nauseous now. I have to get out of here. I grabbed Rose and we stumbled out the of the club. Rose fell out of my arms and to the ground where she began to puke in the storm drains. From the feeling of my stomach I wasn't far from joining her. We had to get home.

I sure and the hell couldn't drive with my vision blurred. And I didn't have a phone. I didn't even have any money cause I left it in my purse and I didn't remember where we parked the car. Fuck my life. Some night out. Sleeping on a dirty curb in this icy cold night was _just_ my definition of fun, I though sarcastically.

I sat on the curb with my head between my knees next to Rose who sounded like she was dry-heaving now, willing myself not to vomit too. I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn't even bother to look at the person.

"You guys don't seem to be able to hold your alcohol to well. Maybe you should ease up next time." the person laughed. I recognized the voice. I wanted to punch the jerk for finding humor in this situation. if I were able to lift my head, I would have.

"What, James?" I tried to make my voice sound sharp but it came out more whiny.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. Do you have a ride home?" he sounded sincerely concerned but I couldn't really trust my judgment right now.

"How do I know your not some psycho who preys on drunk girls at clubs?" I moaned. I was trying to keep the bile that keep rising up, down.

"Well…I guess you'll just have to trust me." I finally looked at him and he had a soft smile on his face. Or maybe if I were sober it would seem creepy. Whatever. He was probably the best chance of us getting anywhere right now. I could tell him to call my dad, but I wasn't that drunk to think that I wouldn't get a very seldom tongue lashing if I did.

I smiled through the torture and Rose groaned next to me. "Beelllaa…" and she was out.

"Man, you guys are going to have some seriously fucked up hangovers tomorrow." he murmured to himself and shook his head. "Come on. Lets get you guys home."

I tried to crack a joke. "I thought chivalry was-" before I could finished and while he was taking my arm, trying to help me up, the vomit I was trying to hold down won. I was on all fours puking my brains out in front of who knows who. But I didn't really give a shit at the moment. After I puked up all I'd ever eaten in my life, I felt a little better. James led me and carried Rose to his car. We got in the back with Rose's head in my lap and I gave him the directions to Rose's house. Somewhere in between that Rose woke up.

"Car….car.." she moaned. Of course she wouldn't want to leave her red Z4 BMW. That was her baby. I consoled her and James said he would have it taken care of. I agreed, not really there. My head was pounding and my mouth tasted horrible. I just wanted to sleep. We got to the condo and James carried Rose in for me. He told me to call him when I woke up to get the car stuff squared away. I wanted to hug him for how nice he was being, but I didn't think he would want me to. Seeing as how he saw my lunch on the curb of his club. He hugged me anyway and we said our goodbyes. Nice guy.

Rose fell out on the couch and went to sleep instantly, though she managed to knock her shoes off first. I brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, took an Excedrin, and went to bed in the guest room. I could hear her snoring from down the hall. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

_**...  
**_

I woke up and groaned. I felt worse than I had last night, though I could only remember bits and pieces. What a placebo that Excedrin was. I swear to goodness I'm never in my life drinking again. Though I knew it was a lie, it made me feel a little better somehow.

I rolled out of bed and padded my way to the kitchen with cotton mouth and a headache bigger than Africa. Dumbass medicine, doesn't do shit. Rosalie was freshly showered when I got to the kitchen with black yoga pants and a tank on. She was sitting at her kitchen bar on one of her silver stylish stools that fit the décor of her whole stainless steel kitchen. She was drinking disgusting black coffee, her laptop in front of her, obviously talking to someone on Skype. I could tell by the voice coming through it was Alice.

"Is that Bella?"

"Who else walks like their feet weigh ten ponds each? Of course that's her. And she's going to be dead if she doesn't tell me where the fuck my care is." Rose turned and glared at me. I passed by the laptop screen and bobbed my head at Alice, which wasn't such a good idea.

"Fuck you until I get some caffeine."

"Damn. Her hangover must be bad if she's drinking coffee for it. Se hates the stuff." Alice commented as I poured myself a cup of Joe and loaded it with sugar and crème to delude the taste as much as possible. I can't stand the shit, it's so fucking repulsive. I never acquired the taste for it. But it dose the trick. I drink and my headache already begins to run away. I walked over to Rose and sat in the stool next to her in front of a cheery looking Alice.

"Well, looked what the cat dragged in." she grinned.

"It really dragged Rose in, considering how fucked up she was last night."

"Ain't no shame in my game. I don't give a shit. All I care about is where my fucking car is. So you better get to yakking."

"Why do you assume I know what happened to it? I was just as wasted as you were. Its probably under a lake for all I know." she gave me her 'don't fucking fuck with me right now. I'm not playing' look, where her jaws tightens and her eyes get this dangerous glint in them that you know is deadly. I sighed and waved her off. "You car is fine, clam the fuck down"

"It better be."

"Bitches. You guys had fun without me. Fuck both your lives." Alice grumbled and crossed her arms.

"I wouldn't really call getting shit faced drunk and puking to death on the curb of some cute guys club, whom happened to drive us home and dump a passed out Rose on the couch, fun." I took a breath and sipped the nasty coffee as Alice and Rose both blinked at me.

"Man, you guys really did have fun without me. Whores!" Alice crossed her arms.

Rose and I both rolled out eyes at her. She could go on with the name calling all day. "Whatever Ali. Where's my brother."

"He's in the shower. We're getting ready to go to the Cullen's, and Jasper can't wait for his rematch with Emmett in Black Ops." her expression softened a little. "I'm glad you guys worked things out. He's really worried about you. Some am I, and Esme, and Carlisle, and Emmett. Pretty much everyone you know." I sighed. So many people cared about me. Though I did notice she didn't mention Edward.

"Sorry. But I promise I'm okay. Tell them to stop worrying, I'll be back tomorrow." then the time occurred. "Wait, why are you going so early. We're three hour ahead." I looked around for my phone, wondering to time. It felt like is was eight or nine, which meant it was way earlier there.

"Its not early. Bella. its three here, which means its twelve there," Rose informed me.

Three? In the afternoon? Shit, I cant remember the last I sleep past ten in the morning… "Man, that's strange. I haven't sleep in this late since…a while."

"Yeah me either. You being here fucked up my whole schedule. I have a routine Monday through Sunday. Shit, you think I just get up and look this good? Hell no, this shit takes time and work." I waved her half playful ranting off and focused on Alice. We chatted with her a little more then let her go get ready. We told her to give our love to everyone, and that I would see them soon. I missed them.

"Where's my car?" Rose growled after she turned off the computer. If I didn't love her so much I would have punched her for her tone.

"Still at the club." I shrugged. "I'm going to call the owner after I shower, so don't trip." I told her. I was surprised I remembered anything from last night.

"How did we get home?" Now I'm not surprised she doesn't remember anything. She was _way_ passed fucked up.

"James, the owner, drove us. Remember the one guy I danced with? The bartender?" I asked trying to get her retrieval keys going. Understanding lit up on her face.

"Oh, him. He drove us home? How nice of him." she said sarcastically. I raised and eyebrow. "You know that's that nice guy shit to get a date and get in your pants right?"

"Rose, not every guy wants to get in someone's pants. And even if he was, I'm not dating now. I'm about to have fun. Get my life back."

"I see. And did you have fun last night?" her voice was hopeful. I couldn't really burst her bubble, she really did mean for me to have a good time, but it backfired. Too bad, it was just one of many nights to come anyway. The start of my new beginning. But then again I fucking suck at lying, so why try.

"Uh, um, of course. It was the best night I've had in a long time. Getting shit piss drunk and having a strange guy drive us home after puking up hell knows what in front his club was just the best fun I haven't had in a long time. A true Rosalie Hale night. Thanks so much. " I said sarcasm dripping from my voice. She gave me a dirty look. I gave her a sweet smile.

"Fuck you bitch. Go take a shower, cause you smell like shit." I chuckled. Even though it might have sounded harsh to anyone else I cold hear the playfulness underneath her voice. We can't really get mad at each other, we've known one another too long.

After my shower I got dressed and gave Sue a text to let her know where I was. She asked if I would be home for lunch and when my flight left, I told her yeah and nine.

An hour later we got Rose's car back and James just made me promise that whenever I was in town to hit him up. Rose smirked at me saying I told you so. I told her to shut the fuck up cause I liked James and it was really no problem. He seemed like a good person.

When we got back to my dad's everybody fought over who would drive me to the airport like they would never see me again. It made me sad that I made them feel that way. So I suggested that we all go, and that's what we decided.

Rose spent the rest of the day at my house just hanging out. We watched Jonas with Mac which was straight torture, and Rose kicked Seth's ass at DJ Hero. I caught Charlie up on work and how Edward helped me out a couple of days ago while him and Rose fixed some stuff on his cruiser. I helped Sue cook dinner and then she made me call my mom. Like I said, that was not a fun phone call. Now I'm supposed to call her at least once a week and visit once every two months. More like demanded. There was no way of getting out of any of it, and I didn't want Judge Dwyer coming to New York and dragging me by my hair back to Phoenix as she threatened to do if I didn't abide. We said our 'I love you's and goodbyes and hung up. Rose laughed when I told her what she said. She knew she wasn't kidding, that's what made it so funny to her.

We caught up on a lot of stuff and Rose told everyone she was moving to New York. They were happy that I would have another person who loves me around. I had to admit, I was too.

Jacob couldn't hurt me anymore. I was surrounded by so much love that the hurt I felt wasn't strong enough to do anything. I didn't feel numb, but alive. For the first time in two years I felt free, and that scared me to know that I hadn't been. That my relationship was that unhealthy that I was caged behind it. It was a sad revelation, but all I know that it was never going to happen again.

After dinner they all helped my pack even though I didn't bring much. We all got in our respectable cars. Mac rode with Rose in her car. While Seth, dad, Sue and I rode in Seth's car.

The drive to the airport was filled with laughter and love. I couldn't of been happier.

We had a teary, crazy family goodbye with promises for me to come home for Christmas since I would be with my mom for Thanksgiving. Seth gave me a nuggie while Mac hugged my hips and Sue my shoulders. Charlie gave me a weird hug with a pat on the back and told me to call when I landed so they would know that I was safe. Last was Rose.

"Here," she said giving me back my iTouch she took earlier in the day saying she wanted to do something. "Don't play it till you get on the plane. Go to your playlists and you'll know which one is which…I guess….I'll see you next week." I nodded. She got all teary eyed then, which made me get teary eyed too. We hugged and whimpered and I made my way to the plane with one more wave, feeling lighter than I had I two years.

_(Mariah)_

_It's not chipped _

_We're not cracked _

_Or are we shattered…_

_Aye_

_Aye_

_(Nicki Manaj)_

_Yo, Mariah_

_I was in the million dollar meetings he was cheating_

_All up in the church_

_He was sleeping with the deacon_

_Cats away while the mice a play_

_Lol, smiley face_

_Have a nicer day_

_Cause pop, pop, pop_

_There goes my rubber band_

_So stop, stop, stop_

_Sniffen the contraband_

_Cause you was penny-pinching_

_My accounts laced_

_Attention_

_About face_

_(Mariah)_

_I thought we had something special_

_We had some thing good_

_But I should of had another __**mechanic**__ under my hood_

_See me walking by you boy_

_Don't you even speak_

_Pretend you on the sofa_

_And I'm on the TV_

_Might see me on a poster_

_See me at a show_

_But you won't see me for free_

_Boy this ain't no krombo_

_It's a__ shame now_

_Wherever you been laying you can stay now_

_Gotta __baby_

_Pull the shades down_

_I'm on a plane now_

_And don't keep calling from your mama house_

_When I break, I break, boy_

_Up out my face boy_

_Up out my face boy_

_Up out my face_

_I break…_

_Up out my face boy_

_Up out my face boy_

_Up out my face_

_I break…_

_You ain't never gonna to feel this thing again_

_You gon get a lot of girls_

_It's from CeCe and her friends_

_I break…_

_I ain't walking round no more feeling sad_

_So gimme my bag, baby_

_I break…_

_When I break, I break…._

Aw fuck.

Why the fuck was this dumb ass sleeping outside my door? Wasn't my bat enough to get it though his thick skull that I wanted nothing to do with him? That info might be new to me, but how dense was he to think the opposite?

I took my earphones out of my ears. I was playing a song on the play list Rose made for me, and the song I was just listening to was perfect for my situation. Its says everything I think Jacob needs to hear, cause since he's here, he obviously doesn't get that when I break, I break. Whether that meant my bat breaking over his back, he need to know its over.

I was not in the mood to deal with this shit. I just got off a plane ride sitting by a man that wouldn't know what shut the fuck up meant if it shitted on him, and then a musty ass cab with windows that didn't work. Plus I was fucka tired from jet lag and all I wanted to do was pass out in my bed.

I took a deep breath and kicked him. His clothes looked fresh but he smelled like he just walked out of a bar. He stirred and turned but didn't awake. His face was angled away from me so I couldn't see it before he'd turned, but when he did I had to hold back a giggle; he was fucked up. I'm not usually a malicious person and laugh at things like that but the fucker is disrupting me from getting to my door, my bed and eventually to sleep. When you mess with my food or my sleep, everything's not gonna be all jolly good.

I swear, this asshole can sleep though anything. I kicked him again, harder. He startled awake and looked around sleepily. He saw me and immediately stood, straightening out his clothes. He began to speak but I ignored him and went to my door to open it.

"Wait Bells." I froze. His voice held so much sadness and hurt that it stopped me. I also stopped because of what he called me. He knows how I feel about that name. I took another deep breath and turned to face him. I don't know how or why, but due to my big heart, I still had some love for him. Aren't I a fucking saint.

I scowled and waited for him to say what he had to say. He stared at my face for a moment then looked down at the floor, not able to met my penetrating gaze, I guessed, while saying what ever he had to say.

"I'm sorry." he began. I sighed. "I really am. I don't know how to explain how sorry I am. I don't know why I did what I did, I just…I felt lonely." I snorted. What a fuckload of bull shit. He couldn't really be trying to sprout that as an excuse, was he? He continued as if he hadn't heard me. "You may not see it that way but its true. You were never around like you used to be. You were either at work, the Cullen's or too tired. I know I haven't been the best boyfriend and I am half responsible, but this is not all my fault. I love you and will always love you. Those other girls don't mean anything. They were just mistakes. I am sorry. But I want…no I _need _a another chance. What we have is special. You're my best friend. You know me better than anyone, even myself. And I am so sorry I hurt you. You don't even know. But I want to work things out. Start fresh. We owe that to our relationship." he finished.

Somewhere in between his little speech I looked down and tears began to fall. I don't know why, I thought I was cried out, but apparently not. But whatever. I don't care how much I hurt. Hurt only makes you stronger. Plus, once a cheater always a cheater. People can change, true, but I wasn't about to be the one to do it with him. I'm done helping him grow up, its time for me to grow. And that has to be done without him. After all he'd said I just had one question.

"How long?" I whispered hoarsely which gave away that I was crying. I really didn't give a shit. He should see the damaged he'd done. I looked up to see his confused face. Could he really be that slow? As soon as he saw my face his expression turned form confusion to understanding to shame. I could see that he was having a hard time saying the words.

"A year." I felt like I got the breath knocked out of me. My knees began to tremble like I might fall and my stomach contorted. But suddenly I was angry. I was livid. How dare he? My blood boiled as I fought the urge to snatch his eyes out.

"You're telling me you've been sleeping with other women in _my _apartment for a fucking year? Really Jacob? Is that what you're telling me?" I said through my teeth. I was murderously furious. I was so pissed I was seeing red. That was a good thing though; my anger was drowning out the pain. He stepped back a little and his expression looked scared. He looked like he about to pee his pants. It would have been funny if I wasn't ready to kill him. He didn't answer my question. He just gulped and watched my face.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself from doing something rash. I didn't have any bat in reach, and I would probably hurt my hand from hitting him. I shook my head to get my thoughts together before I spoke. "Jacob, I'm done. I'm done with you. There's no us. We are over." I proclaimed, and I was proud of myself I was able to do it. The pain of the truth in my statement stung but it was bearable. I was on my way to a healthy place.

I stared into dark brown his eyes which used to make me swoon from depth, but now just looked dull and shallow. They held pain in them though, which I couldn't careless for. "But Bella, you have to give us a try. I know I screwed up but I'm not perfect. Don't you think your rushing things? It's only been five days. You can't tell me you don't love-"

"It is true, I love you, but we will never be together again. You lost my complete trust and it might take years for you to get any fraction of it back. You were my best friend…but not anymore. Best friends don't lie and go behind the others back. So I think you should go. No, I need you to go because, right now, your face makes me want to puke. Your very presence makes me sick to my stomach." I stopped to keep my voice at a reasonable level so we wouldn't attract attention. I'm pretty sure everyone in this building had heard our argument Wednesday night, but I didn't want to give them any more entertainment. "You know I'm not the type of person to hold grudges, and one day I will forgive and forget. But today is not that day. I want you out of my life so _I_ can start fresh. I don't want you around." he flinched at that.

My voice softened. I could never stay angry for long. Visibly anyway. Its too much work. I sighed. "So please, if you love me as much as you say you do, go. Leave and don't come back. I mean it or I will call legal authorities after I let Jasper beat your ass." I was done with Jacob Black. I felt my heart get little lighter at the thought of no more hurt. No more pain. I know I still had a ways to go but I'm now one more step closer to my destination.

Jacob looked like he was about to cry. It was sad. I don't know why but I laughed. I didn't mean to, it just slipped. I do dumb shit when I'm tired. I didn't want to laugh at his obvious hurt, but he'd brought it on himself. But he seemed to pull it together. His face hardened and he narrowed his eyes at me. His eyes held something I couldn't read, but I didn't really care. I smiled at him and that seemed to piss him off more. Awesome.

"Okay Isabella." Oh, scary. He used my full name. "Whatever you want." And with that he was gone, out of my hallway, and out of my life.

_**...  
**_

When I woke up I smiled at the new day. I had a feeling today would be different. And I knew the one thing that was going to change.

I was going to be nice to Edward. Even with the presence of mother nature, witch I was happy to see since she had been running a little late, couldn't stop my pleasant mood.

Okay, maybe _nice _is too broad a word. More like decent. Civil. Yeah, that's good. I mean, the man did let me cry on his shoulder, so it's the least I could do. I couldn't be _too _civil_, _I still had a reputation to uphold as top notch bitch around the office. I couldn't have him thinking I'd gone soft after my little, okay big, breakdown. The players may change but the game always stays the same.

I was no longer the vulnerable, hurt Bella that I had been for the last four days. That Bella was left in Seattle. I had cried my last tear. That is not who Bella Swan was or is. People are going to know that nothing can keep me down.

After I showered and dressed in a white shirt and black pencil skirt suit with silver pumps I went down to my Mercedes and called Alice on my way to work to make a dinner date. We had some catching up to do. We made plans and then she told me about what went down at the Cullen's Sunday night while I waited in the morning rush. I almost choked on my own spit when she told me about Emmett breaking Edward's table and him being scared of Esme's reaction. I couldn't blame him. My mom was scary, but you don't cross Esme. That's one crazy woman. Alice bid me goodbye as I pulled into the parking lot so she could get to work. She made me promise to mess with Emmett today about the table thing, I promised. He had it coming.

When I walked in the office it was like a breath of fresh air. I loved my work environment. I was glad I had the privilege to work in a laid back place. Plus crazy shit always went down here. It was beautiful.

I had some things to take care of today though. I needed to talk to Edward and get some thing straightened out. I felt a weird feeling when I thought of him, and it was familiar but not towards him. I shook it off and made my way to the front desk.

That's another thing I needed to deal with. Jessica Stanley, whom was one of our receptionist. I wasn't going to let her skanky ass ruin my bright mood so I strode pass her like she didn't exist. And theoretically she didn't. Not to me anyways. I was done with her just as I was done with Jacob. They could both go to hell and have fun together for all I care. She didn't try and stop me and I was grateful yet resentful. I would have liked the chance to beat her ass now. But I guess I can wait.

Nobody was really here yet, so I went to the lounge to get breakfast. Angela always brought something, and she should be back today.

I spotted her assembling bagels on the table in different categories. She had six kind. I love that girl.

"Hey Ang." I said casually. She spun around.

"Bella!" she said. We hugged and chatted for a while. She told me about her dad's heart attack and how he was recovering. Since Angela wasn't here for the last week she didn't know about my absence. So when she asked how the office had been I hesitated. She sensed some thing but didn't push. Angela's wasn't one to pry. I told her anyway but gave her the watered down version. She gave me her sympathy and changed the subject. Oh, how I love that girl.

Around nine everyone began to arrive so we went our separate ways. I took my bagel and OJ to my office and saw all my work pile was rather low for the time I'd been gone. Huh. I guess the asshole did have a heart for others other than himself. I shrugged, got settled and left my door open.

"Look who's back." a deep voice rasped while I was going over some bankruptcy files. I smiled up at the voice and was pulled into a hug.

"Emmett, you dumb ass, let me go!" I laughed. He put me down and set me on my desk as I straitened out my suit.

"Sorry B, I just missed you. Its been so dull around here without you."

"Really. I'm sorry. But I heard your weekend was awesome. I never saw you as one for a breaking table, Em." I winked and nudged him. His eyes narrowed.

"I'm going to kill that pixie." he said in a playful menacing tone. I chuckled.

"Well, maybe if you stop calling her pixie she'll leave you alone." he rolled his eyes.

"Now, where's the fun in that?." I was kind of surprised Emmett wasn't trying to pry information out of me for why I missed work. He was the biggest gossip I knew. A gossip who couldn't keep his mouth shut if it was nailed together at that. I didn't think Edward would say anything but I wasn't sure. If Emmett didn't say anything than he probably hadn't. Emmett brought me out of my reverie and filled me in on the new gossip in the office.

I went to the bathroom and when I got out Emmett was there.

"B, Edward's here. And I feel like fucking with him, you in?" he asked, hyped up.

"Duh." I didn't have to think about my answer. I love fucking with Edward just as much as he loves messing with me. Its one of the highlights of my days.

"Cool. Okay so I'm going to go in there then after a minute or two you're going to come in there, and you'll know what to do, kay?" I nodded. Emmett grinned and was off.

This should be fun. Me and Emmett love getting to Edward. Plus I need to talked to him anyway and…it was hard to say it…thank him for what he did. I'm sure he had some questions of his own. This would be awkward. But why not start of with some sense of normalcy? Or as normal as we could get. You couldn't really apply us to normal, the shit that happens to us does not happen on a regular basis.

I waited the amount of time he said and walked to Edwards office.

"…she's a bitch" Edward said. Do I have perfect timing or what?

"And you're a narcissistic dick, Cullen." I said acidic. He turned around to face me and his face brought on some emotions. The strange emotions I'd felt earlier. I'd _missed _him. Huh. I'd missed Edward Cullen. Wow. Well, there's a new one.

"Bellie, I missed you." Emmett said and hugged me again because Edward couldn't know that he knew I was here yet.

"I missed you too, Em. But, I can't breathe." I strained. Asshole did that on purpose. He gave me a wink that Edward wouldn't be able to see.

"Edward," I said acidly. Fucker was not about to call me a bitch and think he could get away with it.

"Welcome back Swan," he said just as coldly. I scowled. It was time to get this over with.

"Emmett, can I talk to Edward alone?" I asked nicely as I could what with the tension in the room. I knew Edward knew something was up.

"I'm not about to miss you chew Eddie's ear off." He boomed.

"Please? For me?" I asked pouting, knowing he couldn't resist my pout.

He relented. "Okay, Bellie. I'll go this time." He said smiling showing his dimples and left, or so I thought. He stood in the doorway.

"Emmett!" I exclaimed in disbelief. He was such a kid sometimes.

"What? I'm not inside." He said innocently.

"Go." I pointed out the door.

"Fine." He said then walked out. I closed the door.

"I-" Edward stopped me by clearing his throat and pointing to his office window. Emmett glared when I walked over and shut the blinds. I sighed at his childish antics but knew I would be doing the same thing. It was quiet for a few awkward minutes before he broke the silence.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked. I blushed and looked down at the ground. My instinctive reaction to most awkward situations. Bastard made me break my record of not blushing all weekend. And me swallowing my pride and thanking Edward was awkward and making me shaky. It goes against the grain for us.

"I wanted to thank you for…you know." I stumbled out. He was silent for a while so I looked up. He looked absolutely flabbergasted. It was funny.

"About that… How are you… uh, doing?" he stuttered. I guess he was stunned due to me never thanking him before.

"I'm good. Now. Thanks for…um... asking." I said looking down.

_Well, this is awkward just as you said it was going to be. One point for you getting something right._

Fuck you, infinity.

Edward brought me back from my smartass conscience. "I have to ask. What happened to what's his name before I arrived?" his voice sounded curious.

"Jacob?" I looked up. I had a feeling he would want to know more. This whole office was filled with nosey fuckers.

"Yeah… him." I didn't really want to get into all the gory details so I rushed it out.

"I might have…beathimwithabat."

"Didn't catch the last part." he looked confused. I did not want to talk about this. Everything about Jacob was gone, but I had to admit this part was humorous.

"I beathimwithabat." I mumbled again.

"Huh?" his slow ass still didn't get it. I sighed.

"I. Beat. Him. With. A. Bat." I said slowly. I smiled at the image of Jacobs face. Then blushed remembering where I was.

"Seriously?" he asked in shock and disbelief. I nodded slowly. He busted up.

"I didn't know you had it in you. Remind me not to piss you off anymore."

I laughed knowing I wouldn't. It was fun being a bitch to Edward, but I'd never hit him with a bat. I stopped laughing because he was staring at me surprised with one eyebrow raised. I felt my face get hot as I realized I'd said that.

"Did I say that out loud?" the bastard smirked and nodded. I changed the subject

"Oh, uh do you have any work for me?"

"Yeah, it's on your desk." Jackass was still smirking and I was blushing. Fuck me.

"Oh! Thanks, bye." Why the fuck did I trip?

_Because you're a fucking idiot._

I growled in my head and made my way to my office with what dignity I had left.

The rest of the day passed some what inconsequential. As I vowed earlier, I was civil to Edward. I grinned rather than grimace at him he always looked shocked. To be honest I was shocked at myself. But I wanted him to know I was really grateful.

No one seemed to know anything to the reasons of my absence except for the Cullen's, though it did feel like people were talking behind my back. Emmet told me he knew and was proud of me. I asked if anyone had said anything and he said no, that it was my business and no one would do that to me. We hugged and changed the subject. Everyone in the office kept sneaking glances at me and Edward like we were going to snap at each other any minute. It was funny shit.

Jessica steered clear of me all day. But her ex had other ideas. He stopped me in my office when I was on my way to lunch.

"Hey beautiful." Mike purred. The way he said it made me feel dirty. I narrowed my eyes at him. He was never up to any good. I played along, though, trying to see what he wanted.

"Hello Mike. Wassup?" I murmured heading towards the door. He blocked my way and shut my door. I raised an eyebrow at him starting to get a little pissed. I hungry, he didn't want to fuck with me right now.

"I was wondering…" he purred again stepping towards me. " if you would like to go to dinner sometimes…" he was close enough that I could smell his onion breath. I stepped back until my butt hit my desk.

It wasn't unusual for Mike to ask me out, but he'd never been this forward before. Plus I'd always had the excuse of having a boyfriend then, so he wasn't hard to dismiss. Mike wasn't a bad person, annoying maybe, but not bad. I considered him a friend, because once he got rid of all the bravado, he was pretty cool. But something in his voice implied that this wouldn't just be two friends hanging out as friend, _if _I said yes. It didn't look like he was going to back down easily, and I didn't feel like explaining anything to Mike about my new single era, so I told him a lie.

"Mike, you know I have a boyfriend." I fibbed. He began to laugh and I gave him a weird look.

"Come on Bella, you don't have to lie." I narrowed my eyes at him, accusing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, everyone knows about your breakup catastrophe Wednesday. It's all over the office." he put his hand on my hip. "But I can help you forget." he pured ugain that made me feel wrong.

I was seething. I _knew_ people were talking about me. And I could only think of two people who would do this. One with a big mouth and one with a big ego. Mike's hand was still on my hip so I grabbed it and twisted it with all my might.

"Ah, ow! Bella let go."

"Who told you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Who the fuck told you about my breakup?"

"Jessica, she said she heard it form Fred who heard it from someone else."

Well, Jessica couldn't have known cause I kicked her out before. So it was either big mouth or fuck face. I was about to attack and ask questions later. If there's on thing you can do to get on my shit list it's telling my business because it's just that, _my_ business, no one else's. If I tell you, cool. But that doesn't give you the right to spread it and create rumors. I fucking hate rumors.

"Bella! Bella please let go of my hand!" I had forgotten I had it. I let him go.

"Get out of my office." I spat. I walked out and stormed to Emmett's office. He had music playing and didn't hear me come in. I cut it off and he looked up.

"Hey Bell- what's wrong?" his face was full of concern. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Did you tell?" I whispered, controlling my rage. He immediately knew what I was talking about.

"No, I would never. Why would you ask me that?" Emmett never lied, he was too honest. Sometimes brutally honest. So I knew he was telling the truth. Under his concern, I could see slight hurt from my accusations, and I felt guilty. I should have asked a little nicer, Emmet wouldn't hurt a nasty fly.

I sighed. "I'm sorry Em, I just found out that basically the whole office knows, and I let my stupid emotions take hold. I don't mean to blame you…but you, your brother, and Carlisle are the only ones that supposedly knew, so I just assumed…." he nodded but said nothing. I knew I hurt his feelings by approaching him first, but I wasn't ready to give him more of a apology than I just did. My blood was still boiling and I wanted to punch something. Part of my anger had been taken over by my hormones, and even knowing that, there wasn't much I could do about them.

"Look, I'll see you later, but right now I need to see Edward." With that I made my way to the assholes office, my anger renewing with each step I took. I had trusted the bastard, and he betrayed me.

I walked into his office with the meanest glare I could muster wanting to make him squirm.

He was sitting at his desk looking over some papers and looked up at my entrance. He smiled up at me until he caught my face.

He looked like he wanted to shit his pants.

"Hey, Bella. What can I do for you?" He asked warily. He voice somehow made me want to cry, and I didn't want to. Fucking PMS. I tried to hold back, but my tear ducts seem to have a mind of their own. Fucking traitor body.

"How could you?" I said, my voice cracked. I tried to keep strong, for the fear of seeming weak and not getting my point across, but my emotions didn't feel like cooperating. I had this overwhelming compulsion to cry. A _need_. It fucking sucked.

He stood from his seat, looking a little frightened, as I mulled over this.

"What's wrong? What are you talking about?" he asked confused. It made me angrier.

"Do you really hate me that much?" I questioned walking over to him. I had no idea what I was going to do, but why not go with the flow? He looked totally lost, what a perfect actor. You do have to be a efficient liar to be a good lawyer, but we are not in court, and I'm not about to take it.

"I'm confused, what-" I slapped him, and I had to admit, it felt good. It felt fucking awesome.

"Don't act like you don't know." I sneered. A dozen emotions ran across his face, shock, hurt, anger, confusion. But he seemed to stick with shock.

"Did you just slap me? What the fuck, Bella!" He shouted. I nodded, took a deep breath, and turn on my heel and walked out. I felt his pursuit behind me but I didn't care. I didn't turn, I needed to get out and clear my head. It didn't look like anyone heard us, or they simply didn't care. Edward and I always fought. I saw Emmett look out his door looking worried and I grinned at him as I made my way to the elevator, trying to soothe his concern. It probably looked more like a grimace though.

I got in the elevator that took me to the parking lot, and to my relief Edward didn't get on. My anger had subsided some after I hit him, but I was in no mood to tolerate the fucker. My monthly cramps had made their appearance and I winced as they tortured my uterus. My goal now was McDonald's.

When the elevator landed I made a beeline to my car stopping in the middle of the parking lot, realizing that I really hadn't planned this well. My keys were in my purse and my purse was in my office. I was not ready to get back to all the gossip without ripping out someone's throat, at least not on a empty stomach. I breathed and heard someone clear his throat. I slowly turned my head to the side and saw Edward had his car door open, standing next to it.

"Care to join me for lunch?" His smiled his crooked smile but I could see the frustration and anger underneath that he was trying to control.

I looked at him confused and grimaced. What the fuck did he think I was? Dumb? The Edward I knew probably would have been cussing up a storm at me or filing an lawsuit for touching his pretty face. Maybe he wanted to kill me and hide the body. I knew he wouldn't hit me, but what was I supposed to think? If someone slapped me I wouldn't be inviting them to lunch. And I sure and the hell knew Edward wouldn't, so what the fuck is going on? Is it opposite day or something?

He saw my indecision, sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look Swan, without me it looks like you're shit out of luck to get lunch. So unless you want to go back in there or walk twenty blocks, I'm all you got. Now due to your _situation_," I knew he meant my period, "I don't think you're in the walking mood."

Observable bastard. How he knew when I was premenstrual beat the fuck out of me. I guess my face gave me away. He was right though, I hated walking when I was cramping. And even if I felt like slapping him again for being so nice, I didn't really have a choice, did I?

I relented with poor grace and got in the car. He knew where to go.

* * *

**A/N: G1 here again...so...yea...Review por favor.**

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